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Click on the following video to discover more about narcissists and their surreal world. If you see yourself in the description, either as an NPD or as a victim of a narcissist, it's important to understand the personality disorder, and also to seek professional help.

Since 1987, October has served as the month to observe and recognize the impact Domestic Violence has on our world. Parts of this blog article first appeared on my former website in October 2020, during the pandemic when our world changed, life became more intense, and people became more isolated or withdrawn. (The video at the end of the blog reflects that time). But the information remains critical to know as individuals or families suffer domestic or emotional violence, and as others support those who are victims of domestic (or emotional) violence. I will share articles about other types of abuse in the blogs on this site, such as rape or sexual assault, financial abuse, child abuse, elderly abuse, spousal abuse, bullying , catfishing (abusive cons ), and stalking. However, this article focuses on domestic violence (physical violence against a family member). Emotional or Domestic violence remains a serious problem, even as many individuals, groups, churches, counselors, and organizations work tirelessly to prevent, protect and educate those involved in domestic violence. Mental health professionals were alarmed at skyrocketing domestic violence in 2020 (as it more than doubled from the previous year due to isolation, financial changes, fear, and changes in relationship roles during Covid). The trend continues as professional groups, police entities, government and community entities, churches and psychiatric, medical and mental health professionals attempt to decrease the number and severity of occurrences . Efforts to combat domestic abuse increased following the passage of the 1994 VAWA (Violence Against Women Act ) and the 2022 reauthorization of the VAWA as these laws addressed violence against women, human trafficking, discrimination against victims of domestic violence, violence against the disabled, dating violence, stalking, sex trafficking, assaults on tribal law enforcement officers on tribal lands, Increasing services and support for survivors from underserved and marginalized communities—including for LGBTQ, those serving in the military, law enforcement issues, and efforts to reduce homelessness for those in violent situations). These acts supported grants and programs for education against abuse, training, and care of those abused. Domestic (family) violence is a serious issue that each and every one of us must address, whether as victims of abuse or if we are helping protect others from abuse, or whether we are in the mental healthcare field, or not. The health of a church, a community group, a business or even a nation depends upon the strength of each of its family groups. Listen to the video, read more, and discover facts and resources to help address domestic violence. ­­­­­­ Statistics vary, but state that 1 in 3 (or 4) women and 1 in 5 (or 7) men… will experience severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. (CDC, 2017) When violence occurs, it is always a power and control issue. Domestic Violence is described as: “violent or abusive behavior directed by one family or household member against another” (Merriam Webster Dictionary). Domestic violence always has a component of physical aggression, as well as emotional and verbal abuse. Emotional abuse is always present in cases of domestic violence; however, some people experience emotional abuse without experiencing domestic or physical violence. Oftentimes domestic violence is intensified by sources outside the family, yet the anger, control, and frustration are directed toward the family, or toward a specific member of the family. As with a bully (or being bullied ), the oppressor attacks those perceived to be most vulnerable, controllable, or who can be ‘hurt’ the most in the family. Some triggers to domestic violence include drug use, alcohol abuse, financial stressors, loss of job or status, anger over other issues, depression, lack of trust or suspected affairs by partner, lack of communication between individuals involved, lack of caring about how the other feels, or simply because someone has "crossed" another person or when one did not "give in" to the other’s demands. We call these trigger reactions, as they are reactions that often result in dangerous, highly emotionally charged outcomes. Oftentimes we think of domestic abuse as spouse against spouse, but that is not always the case. Even though the aggressive actions may be directed at a spouse or partner, it also can be directed at children, a parent, or others within the household. Abuse is often connected with times of high stress, instability (war, conflict, financial stressors, loss of job, job change, moving to new area or city, death of loved one, medical crisis, etc.) I am a child of domestic violence. My father was in the Army, given multiple awards for bravery, and came back home from WW-II with "shell shock" or what we now call PTSD. He returned from the war "looking for a fight" with anyone, in or out of the family. I recall many times when he’d come home from a bar, beat-up, bloodied, drunk, and smiling as he told stories of how he'd agitated others until they fought with him. It's one of the reasons I do not drink, as I witnessed firsthand how alcohol decreased his control and reactions, while increasing his violence. My dad wasn't a "happy drunk" often portrayed in comedy parodies but was a violent man who'd slap us across the face as easily as he'd pick up a TV control. I am the 5th of 7 children. We grew up in poverty, due to my father’s alcoholism, violence, and increasing inability to hold a job as he wrestled with the demons of war in his mind. My mother tried to pick up the slack, often working multiple jobs, leaving us younger kids in the care of ill-equipped, and certainly not trained, older siblings forced by necessity to assume a parental role. If it had not been for the help of my mother’s siblings, who often hid us in their homes (terrified of my father’s violence when he’d try to find out where we were hidden), we would not have survived. My mother loved my father…at least the man he was when he wasn’t drinking or violent. He was funny, clever, and strong at those times. But he would change in the blink of an eye from that friendly Dr. Jekyll to a highly dangerous Mr. Hyde. As a longshoreman, he was muscular and strong. My mother attempted to leave my father many, many times before she was able to do so. After one especially intense fight, she literally called the police, rounded up all 7 of us kids (ranging in age from an infant to a 15-year-old son) and walked down the road to safety…with nothing but her kids in tow. She knew that in order to protect her children, she had to protect them from their own father. My mother divorced my dad, something that went against her Christian value system, but something she knew she had to do in order to protect us. We lived with an aunt and uncle about a year, then due to financial situations, two of us (my oldest sister and I) were sent to live at a children’s home. I was in fifth grade. My older sister was a high school sophomore. My mother joined us later, as an employee of the children’s home, and it was only when I was a junior in high school that I was able to again live with my mother. My mother continued to live in terror that my dad would suddenly show up even though we lived 5 hours away. We all lived with that tension. As adults, we all had to learn to address the physical abuse and violence of our childhood. We did, but each in very different ways. It was only when my dad died that I felt safe. The anger I’d felt for many years continued, even after the times I’d witnessed, and felt firsthand, the abuse of my father toward my mother and all of us in the family. I had to address that anger and it was that process that made me decide I would not live my life under the shadows, anger, and fear of what domestic violence had done to my mother, my siblings and me. I would consciously choose a different life. I would choose to become as informed as I could, seek education that allowed me to move forward securely, and learns ways to make different decisions as to how I would treat my own wife, children and others in my family. My childhood of violence also prompted me to obtain a psychology degree, as I wanted to understand my own childhood better, mind and emotion connections, and how expectations and life experiences can be managed to build greater happiness in life. I wanted to study marriage and family therapy because I wanted to understand how families and individuals impact each other and I needed to understand patterns in personalities, what could be changed and what could not. I wanted to be able to move forward, have a happy life with my own wife, raise my own children, and also help others who are seeking to break cycles of abuse or family patterns. I realized it doesn’t always matter the hand life deals you. What matters is how you move forward to change your life into the life you want, how you connect to support networks, and the steps you have to take to move forward and break away from the weight of the past. Never allow yourselves to continue to be victims of violence of any kind. Establish a trusted support network and seek continued support, even if on repeated need for the support exists or occurs. Types of domestic violence.   Abuse against spouse or those in a partner relationship. Abuse of parent against a child. Abuse of child against a parent. Sibling abuse against another sibling (child abusing another child) Abuse of elderly (by family member or caregiver) Abuse of anyone living in a household against another member of the household. How to deal with domestic violence: Eighty (80%) of conflicts in relationships are due to poor communication. The best way to avoid conflict is to communicate clearly and effectively. There are 3 levels of communication : 1. “ Issue level ” The Issue Level is characterized by “I” statements, while remaining focused on the subject under discussion. On the issue level, you win a conflict like you’d win a debate, based on the merits of your position. The problem arises when people do not agree on the issue level. Oftentimes, that disagreement may escalate to the 2nd level, which is the “personal level”. In our culture, we tend to abandon the issue level and jump to the personal level fairly quickly. Sometimes if we remain on the issue level, we may compromise or "take turns". (“I’ll go with you to eat tonight at the restaurant you want if you’ll order pizza and watch a movie with me next time.”) IMPORTANT! Remember this: you cannot  resolve conflict IF you leave the issue level! 2. “ Personal Leve l”. On the personal level, we attack the person, not the issue. It is characterized by “you statements” (“You always….”, “You never…”) and name-calling. We tend to become louder and to appear more threatening (such as stiffness in facial expressions and body language, setting our jaw, clenching fist, straightening up to look more erect or bigger, etc.). On the personal level, one person wins when their opponent cannot ‘answer the bell’ or ‘throws in the towel’, such as one boxer beating another, or when the other gives up. However, domestic violence occurs when your partner (or opponent) doesn’t give in easily and jumps to the relationship level. IMPORTANT! Remember this: you cannot resolve conflict IF you leave the issue level! 3. “ Relationship Level ”. This level is coercion, typified by “if-then” statements. “ IF  you don’t stop, then I’m going to hit you” or “ IF  you don’t do what I say, then I will make you regret it!” “ IF  you don’t do what I want, then I’ll kill you.” At this level, one partner tries to force the other to do what the other partner is unwilling to do. This typically proceeds physical violence, throwing objects, breaking or damaging things…or other people. IMPORTANT! Remember this: you cannot  resolve conflict IF you leave the issue level! You cannot convince a person that your suggestion is better than theirs by calling them "stupid!" (or other names), threatening to break their arm, make them "pay", or harm them. If your partner will not stay on the issue, do NOT escalate the situation! Tell them you can see they are upset; you are aware they are frustrated; you should both take a break and talk about it later when both of you have calmed down and can focus on the issue. Don't belittle, threaten or coerce others! No one has the right to put their hands on you ! We call that "setting boundaries" and it is a vital part of prevent domestic violence. I never ask anyone to live with the threat of being physically harmed. If you're hurt or threatened, immediately call the police! No person should live under the threat of violence . Make a plan! Know the signs of potential abuse! When needed, seek help from battered women's shelters, anti-violence community groups, counselors or attorneys. If you believe your situation is escalating to a domestic violence point, put an escape plan together (who to call, where to go, and what you’ll need to be physically safe. Resources to do this are listed below). Let others know! A real danger is when an abuser threatens an adult or a child to "not tell" or they will be harmed or killed. Tell your children that is never ok, and if someone tells them that, to immediately tell another adult (not a peer), a teacher, or their parent of that threat. That’s the reason it’s so important to make a plan (& professionals or battered women’s shelters know exactly what it needed in these situations). Get help! People are not "mind readers". If you are hiding signs of abuse (using make-up or clothing to hide bruising), isolating from others when hurt, or lying to doctors, police, or mental health providers, then the abuse cycle will continue or become worse. In order to protect children, oftentimes a parent must make a plan secretively . Some abusers will threaten children in an attempt to monitor or find out what their partner is planning. Sometimes it is important to keep those plans of action between you and your support network without your children’s knowledge, unless those children are older and will not disclose confidential plans to the abuser. Online groups may offer support but be aware that many abusers are also skilled at tracking online activities. (A link below on tech safety) is excellent information. It may even mean that you don’t use your own computer or phone, but instead use a friend’s, a library computer, or another source to seek online help or resources. Keep emergency numbers in your phone (fire, police, battered women’s shelter, others who will serve as your emergency contacts, etc.), as well as in back-up places (such as a friend's or neighbor's home, hidden in your car, or in an emergency bag. (Consider copying the resource number listed below in a safe place or on a second burner phone you carry). What to know about domestic violence: Recognize domestic violence is not your fault and you are not alone! 19% of domestic violence involves a gun. Presence of a gun in a violent household increases likelihood of a homicide in the family by 500%. 20,000 calls are placed every day to domestic violence hotlines for help. Financial abuse is involved in 98% of domestic abuse cases. (Many community organizations and churches offer free ‘financial freedom classes’ as part of their outreach to help families experiencing domestic violence) Every 73 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted. Every 9 minutes, a child is that victim. (RAINN) Unless the cycle is broken, the abused may become abusers themselves. Many abused feel they must live with the shame of what happened to them. They need to know they do not have to live with shame! Those abused may suffer mental health issues such as depression, addictions, dissociative disorders, anger issues, cutting, self-injury, eating disorders, personality disorders. Family/domestic violence tends to intensify and increase over time. Common signs of domestic violence may include indicators such as: verbal cruelty or berating of another person, physical and emotional control, signs of bruising, layers or inappropriate amounts of clothing being worn or heavy make-up (in an attempt to cover bruising or bandages), quick "jerks away" if a sudden movement is made (such as a child may instinctively perceive sudden movements toward them as someone about to hit them), lack of respect (privately and publicly), signs of fear, signs of being overly anxious when abuser is near, trying to ‘fade into the background’ to avoid conflict with abuser, being isolated with limited friends outside of family or relationship. “This is not love. It is a crime! You can't look the other way just because you have not experienced domestic violence with your own flesh.” (Salma Hayek) All violence consists in some people forcing others, under threat of suffering or death, to do what they do not want to do. (Leo Tolstoy) 1 in 3 women suffer from abuse & violence in her lifetime. This is an appalling human rights violation, yet it remains one of the invisible and under-recognized pandemics of our time. (Nicole Kidman) “No one should ever live in fear of having physical violence directed at them. Community groups, counselors, and churches often counsel abused women, men and children to find strength needed to stand up for themselves, to discover ways to better protect themselves, necessary resources, and ways to move forward to enjoy lives that are safe and happier. It is often a long and life-changing process, but many individuals who have suffered from domestic or emotional abuse are able to find paths forward to recovery and reclaim their lives” - Clifton Fuller Knowledge empowers. Find out as much as possible regarding domestic violence to protect yourself, your family, or others living in a violent life situation! Below are additional resources and information. Click on Links to be directed to sites. Stay safe! Seek Help! Office on Violence Against Women (OVW) | Office on Violence Against Women-Tribal Affairs Division (OVW) ( justice.gov ) National Network to End Domestic Violence  (Many resources, important info) National Domestic Violence Hotline & Chat  (“The hotline” 800-799-7233 ) Family Violence Prevention Services  (San Antonio, TX, free legal advice, info) Healthy Place  (lists of places providing services for battered women) Safe Horizons  (info + 24-hour support phone line) Women’s Law (helps find shelters, has legal resources for abused) National Coalition Against Domestic Violence  (data, support line) Domestic Shelters .org  (data, support, shelter, financial assistance, info) Break the Silence (Helpline 855-BTS-1777 , resources, survivors helping survivors) Tech Safety  (Many abusers attack via technology. Find our more). National Sexual Assault  (hotline & resources, 800-656-HOPE (4673) RAINN :  (Laws in each state for protection against sexual assault) (RAINN: Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) 1-800-656-4673  National Hotlines (for immediate help) National Teen Violence “Love is Respect”  (Help & info for teens, 866.331.9474) National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 National Deaf Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-855-812-1001 Watch 2020 Video by Clifton Fuller about Domestic Violence (taped during the pandemic years, but with information that remains relevant).

The World Health Organization describes EMDR as "therapy based on the idea that negative thoughts, feelings & behaviors are the result of unprocessed memories." EMDR is a powerful tool for people who've experienced (or are experiencing) trauma, low self-esteem, anger, abuse, depression, pain, guilt, PTSD, anxiety, phobias, or fears. What is EMDR? EMDR is a revolutionary therapy, which has helped millions release painful experiences, memories, or beliefs.  By utilizing the brain’s natural healing processes, EMDR therapy quickly heals many emotional problems and conditions that have been difficult and time-consuming to treat in the past.  It does not involve a trance state (such as hypnotherapy) and allows clients to 'connect the dots' as to the causes of emotions they are feeling, release those emotions, and move forward. What does "EMDR" mean? EMDR is an acronym for "Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing", discovered and patented by Dr. Francine Shapiro in 1989. While walking through Central Park, Dr. Shapiro noted a healing effect from moving her eyes back and forth while simultaneously recalling a disturbing event.  Since that time, thousands of therapists have trained in this highly effective treatment. It has become the chosen treatment for persons suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. It is frequently used with the military and first responders.     How long does EMDR take? Sometimes a 2 to 4-hour session of EMDR is sufficient to provide immediate relief from emotional distress.  However, the length of treatment depends on multiple factors, and some patients benefit from additional sessions to reinforce or address other issues as they occur or as a client identifies triggers related to other memories or events. Can EMDR be used via telehealth or virtual sessions? Comment from Clifton Fuller: "EMDR is a very effective tool to address many painful feelings, and I have used EMDR in my Private Counseling and Coaching Practice for decades. During the 2019 COVID pandemic when there was a need to keep clients safe from potential exposure, I moved to online HIPAA-secure tele counseling and coaching. My clients, staff, and I all had to adapt, due to the safety and health issues that would have presented themselves with continued in-office face-to-face sessions. EMDR continued to be amazingly successful with clients whether in person in an office setting or online with virtual sessions. Because EMDR is based on bilateral (left-right) stimulation of the brain and visual imagery, the therapy can also be utilized during a video session. I obtained additional training and certification to provide EMDR in virtual session formats. There are highly effective online processes in using left and right bilateral tapping on either side of the midline of the body while holding a mental picture. For some, EMDR online may slightly slow the process, but that is not always the case for others. I've found virtual results are as effective as in-office EMDR therapy and, for many, much more accessible and convenient. This has allowed clients to continue to receive effective relief from symptoms of anxiety, depression, panic, pain management, and PTSD when continuing online video sessions in the convenience of their homes. During the stressful times of CV-19, EMDR helped many of my clients continue to remain mentally healthy, even as they addressed difficult, unusual, or unexpected issues.” Watch this video about EMDR, how it works, what issues it addresses: More info... How does EMDR work? Despite medical advances, some mechanisms of the brain remain a mystery.  However, several theories have emerged to explain the amazing outcomes of EMDR treatment. During EMDR, bilateral stimulation (created by eye movements or alternating tapping on the hands) activates the opposite sides of the brain allowing the brain to release emotional experiences that are "trapped" in the nervous system.  This type of stimulation resembles REM sleep as our eyes move from one side to the other.  It is during REM sleep that the brain naturally sorts out our experiences from the day, discarding useless information and transferring memories to the appropriate part of the memory.  However, sometimes extremely negative experiences can get “trapped” or “frozen” in the brain, unable to resolve naturally, resulting in nightmares, depression, anger, anxiety, or emotional disturbance. EMDR is like "connecting the dots" in your brain to allow you to release difficult memories, physical pain, or trauma. It is like you are unplugging pain receptors as if you were a 1940s telephone operator unplugging jacks (plug-ins) from your switchboards. "As a coach and counselor, I've had many clients who have been referred to me by pain management physicians, psychiatrists, family, friends, or spouses. Some clients come to me out of pressure from that referral source, but with little hope, or expectation, that EMDR is all it's cracked up to be. I often smile, as when I first tried it, I, too, was skeptical. I am no longer skeptical and based upon the feedback I've received over the years; many clients are amazed at how effectively it worked for them to bring relief. One client's spouse even told me that he didn't feel he even knew his wife anymore and it was like he was married to a new woman because his wife no longer was anxious...at all. He said it was wonderful, but they'd had some adjusting to do when she was able to let go of her anxiety more quickly than expected. Both were surprised at how much time they now had to do other things together that they really enjoyed...when before, most of their time had been spent addressing her anxiety with constant reassurance on his part. There are many other stories that I've heard that make me happy to see people being able to move forward in life, as if heavy burdens had been lifted through EMDR." What does EMDR do and what physical, emotional, and mental health issues does it help with? EMDR assists in unlocking and helping you release these painful memories or beliefs as the eye movement or tapping stimulates the two hemispheres of the brain to communicate with each other, arriving at new conclusions, so that the original trauma no longer contains the negative emotional charge originally associated with it!     Who benefits from EMDR? EMDR has been utilized primarily in the treatment of trauma experiences such as physical or sexual abuse, car accidents, victims of crime, natural disasters, and severe loss or grief of war veterans.  However, positive results have also been observed with panic and anxiety disorders, sexual dysfunction, chemical dependency, peak performance, and chronic pain. Extensive research has shown EMDR as the most effective and rapid method for healing PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).   In addition, EMDR can result in increased self-esteem, decreased feelings of depression, and a renewed spirituality.  EMDR has been utilized all over the world and has proven effective with adults, children, and adolescents.  Link to EMDR Video

Want to know about EMDR and why it's a powerful tool to release roadblocks, move forward in life, forgive self and others, control emotions, and release trapped memories or emotions?   Both counseling and coaching professionals recommend it for their clients. Please click on the video box below to watch the 3-minute video and decide if EMDR might be a good option for you: Click here to be redirected to link to EMDR Article

The world can be terrifying, dangerous, stressful and fill us with fear. On some level, we all experienced that fact during the COVID-19 pandemic when going outside and being around other people could represent a danger to our physical health if exposed to Covid. Unfortunately, staying trapped inside because of our fear can be just as damaging to our mental health. Let’s talk about Agoraphobia.  Agoraphobia, which comes from the Greek term for “fear of the marketplace," is a type of anxiety disorder where a person is afraid to leave their perceived safe or “home” environment. We usually associate agoraphobia with fear of leaving our house, however, it can be other places where a person also feels safe. In severe cases, an individual may consider their home the only safe environment, finding ways to avoid leaving their house for extended periods of time, sometimes even for years. People with agoraphobia usually experience panic disorder; however, some do not. Like other anxiety disorders, those with agoraphobia experience significant, difficult-to-control stress from anxiety-inducing situations, which can quickly become overwhelming. Fear is the foundation of agoraphobia, as well as anxiety disorders, and other phobias (such as public speaking, fear of flying, "white coat" fear of doctors, fear of heights, etc.) The phobia is frequently worsened by a fear of embarrassment over having an episode in public or a fear of not being able to escape a situation. The disorder usually starts with a stressful, triggering event, like losing a job or the death of a loved one, escalating into avoidance of certain events and turning inward, ultimately leading to wider-scale isolation. Symptoms of agoraphobia are similar to a panic attack, chest pain, light-headedness, shortness of breath, rapid heart rate, excessive sweating, chills, flushing, and an upset stomach. To some sufferers, it feels like a heart attack, a painful tightness in the chest that spreads across the shoulders and up the neck. When the anxiety hits, it can happen fast; one moment, everything is fine, and the next, the world feels like it’s falling away. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition, text revision (DSM-5-TR) defines agoraphobia as a “marked fear or anxiety about two (or more) of the following five situations: 1. Using public transportation (e.g., automobiles, buses, trains, ships, planes), 2. Being in open spaces (e.g., parking lots, marketplaces, bridges), 3. Being in enclosed places (e.g., shops, theaters, cinemas), 4. Standing in line or being in a crowd. and 5. Being outside of the home alone.” Agoraphobia is believed to be caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors but is generally a response to an external stressor. It can also be caused by other anxiety  disorders, like Panic Disorder , Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) , and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD ). Agoraphobia can also be brought on by other health issues, such as migraines; Research indicates there is a relationship between agoraphobia and a deficit in the vestibular system. The vestibular system is dependent on the inner ear and is the basis for our sense of balance and orientation in the world around us. Agoraphobics with vestibular issues have to rely on other sensory cues for coordination, particularly visual and tactile, and being in unfamiliar environments can become more physically dangerous.  Regardless of the severity, treatments for agoraphobia involve medication and therapy, systematic desensitization, and relaxation techniques. The sooner the individual pursues treatment, the better. Early diagnosis and treatment greatly increase the chances that treatment will be effective, so don’t be afraid to seek help. Agoraphobia can be very serious but addressing it quickly can help minimize the harm and suffering.  As people pursue treatment, the help and support of loved ones can make the road to recovery much easier. Having a friend and ally when out and about in anxiety-inducing spaces can help keep those with agoraphobia calm. Those allies are a reminder that the community is not out to get you. Besides, everything is easier with the help of a friend.  If you have struggled with agoraphobia for an extended time, you can still take steps to address this phobia. The steps may be tiny initially, but as you gain confidence and understanding, you'll become stronger. There are many tools to help address agoraphobia. The first step is to talk to a doctor. Even if the doctor is not a psychiatrist, their capacity to help is tremendous. As previously addressed, there are a myriad of treatment options available, and though agoraphobia can be complex, making small steps toward recovery will snowball into a better quality of life.  The second step may be to find a counselor who has experience with clients who've met success addressing agoraphobia. Even if treatment takes a while, moving forward is better than living in a trapped world that doesn't allow you to have the freedom and joy life could offer. Some excellent resources include: National Institute of Health Anxiety and Depression Association of America Mayo Clinic Mount Sinai NHS (National Health Services, UK) info Better Health Channel (Au. gov) Healthline

The name “narcissist” originated from the Greek mythology legend of a handsome young man, named Narcissus, who fell in love with himself when he accidently saw his reflection in a pool of water. He became obsessed with his image in the water, deciding he was perfect, and refused to leave or stop staring at his reflection. He grew weak as he slowly starved himself, refusing to eat or do anything but stare at his reflection. He eventually laid down by the pool of water gazing at himself until he died. Merriam-Webster Dictionary describes narcissism as, "excessive love and admiration for oneself and especially one's own appearance". When the behavior becomes extreme, the pathology goes much deeper than the dictionary's simple definition because it begins to impact self and others. It is not "normal behavior". It is not an over-abundance of confidence. It can become a harmful or dangerous personality disorder. Narcissism, as a pathological self-absorption characteristic, was first identified as a disorder in 1898 by Havelock Ellis and written about in psychological reports, including Freud's "On Narcissism". The APA (American Psychiatric Association) first listed the classification narcissistic personality disorder in its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) in 1968 and included the term megalomania . We all have varying degrees of selfishness. At times, we all may rationalize our behaviors, as it's painful or embarrassing to be "wrong", make mistakes, or display unacceptable behaviors. But making mistakes is a part of life. Healthy individuals learn coping skills, admit their mistakes, find solutions, and try to avoid repeating the same mistakes. Not all people who appear egotistical are narcissists and many individuals with high levels of confidence support and care about others. Self-care is not narcissism, as long as caring for yourself doesn’t exclude care of and respect toward others. What makes the difference in "normal" behavior and "abnormal" behavior is the intensity, or degree, in which certain traits or behavior are present and their consistency. It’s important to educate ourselves, but also for parents to teach, and protect, their children from a narcissist. It's vital to identify potential dangers, navigate traps and manipulations, and build a plan of action, no matter what decisions one makes about their contact with a narcissist. See yourself clearly, not the way a narcissist repeatedly describes you, others, or himself. Not every troubled marriage is because the other person is a narcissist. If you are in a troubled marriage, seek help to identify IF a narcissist is involved...or not. If you are a narcissist, it's important to seek help, counseling, and life-long support to change or address behaviors that may feel natural to you, but which are not. Narcissists create surreal worlds full of constant upheaval, chaos, distrust, and destruction in order to feel powerful and control others. But it also calms them down when they believe others feel the same turmoil they constantly feel inside. If there is no chaos or division, they often create it. By educating ourselves about the narcissistic personality, we protect ourselves and our families from their damaging impact on our lives, our faith, our businesses, our relationships, and our children. Not all narcissists are the same. They carry differing degrees of psychopathy and different levels of danger, both emotionally and physically. Know the different types of narcissists! Unlike fictional vampires, narcissistic vampires do exist, and they see others as prey to feed off of or abuse emotionally or physically. Some people know little about the personality or do not know about the more serious narcissistic personality disorders (NPDs) until they have been "bitten" by one, had their life energy drained away, their reality defined by lies or twisted truths, or even became convinced they were going crazy, even though it is a narcissist creating the turbulence. The book, “ Marriage Vampire: Living with a Narcissist ” , pulls back the curtain, revealing the sources of a narcissist or NPD's seductiveness and supposed power. Like fictional vampires, true narcissistic vampires have no reflection of their own. They are not what you see when you pass a mirror as you only see yourself or who you think they are. You will see what they want you to see…they reflect what they know you want. Narcissistic vampires have ability to con people. It’s their nature. “Narcissists easily fake empathy, compassion and any other positive trait. Unlike ordinary people, they can do it well enough and long enough to hook almost anyone. It is the key to their success, and they do it without effort. It is the way they are made. This is why we call narcissism a disorder.” (Clifton Fuller, Marriage Vampire: Living with a Narcissist ) They are chameleon-like in nature, easily changing appearances to blend-in or reflect others desires or views. People may be completely convinced they "really know" a narcissist when that narcissist is only mirroring what the person wants to see. A narcissist seeks self-gratification, through an idealized image of self. Characteristics include vanity, egotistic admiration, inflated self-image, and a desire for constant admiration. Narcissists lack empathy or compassion for others and are often so self-absorbed that nothing matters if it interferes with their image of self or what they want. Narcissists may become threatening or dangerous. They create a fake idea of who they are, even if it doesn’t match their behaviors (such as telling lies, then saying they didn’t say what they said, or even believing or acting as if they believe, their lies). They may say something, but when confronted, will argue they never said what listeners heard, saw, recorded, or simply ignore truth. It’s almost as if they say the lies often enough, others will believe the lies, and the narcissist will also convince themselves that the lies are truth. We know repeated lies do not become truth; a narcissist doesn’t. Narcissists won’t accept responsibility for their behaviors but play the role of the victim, placing blame at the feet of others. NPDs often project their thoughts or actions on their victims, even though the victim never had those thoughts or acted in the way an NPD is accusing them of behaving. Obtaining the favor of a narcissist will require people to bow-down to them (i.e. kiss the ring), not out of honor or respect, but to show servitude, loyalty, or fear. That subservient behavior thrills the NPD but will require that the person continue to subject themselves to future demoralization, abuse, and control by the narcissist in order to remain in their favor. Narcissists are skilled at manipulating the values, or desires, of a person into doing what the NPD wants, even if goes against that person’s inner value system. Narcissists are effective at using Biblical verses, twisting the meanings, and pressuring people of faith to do what the narcissist wants. They are skilled in taking documents, constitutions, texts or letters and inferring it says things it does not say or twist the meanings. Attorneys representing clients fighting a narcissist will have a more difficult job and should be especially cautious, and detail oriented, if their client is dissolving a marriage with a narcissist. Narcissists easily lie to be highly effective at convincing people who desire power or praise to follow them. They may then threaten, manipulate or "expose" those same followers for doing things the NPD asked or demanded they do. NPDs can convince some people not to trust themselves, close friends, churches, businesses, family, or existing and former support groups or networks. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders lists traits of a narcissist. The seventh trai t listed is that a narcissist has no empathy. Empathy is an essential trait that narcissists lack as empathy is the ability to understand how others feel, respond to what is happening to them and what they need. Empathy is the opposite of selfishness. Narcissists are the 'wolves in sheep’s clothing’ that we are warned about in life from our childhood. They are those dangerous people who appear like other people, but inside, they will feed on others innocence, lack of information, knowledge, or trust. "Without empathy, you cannot love your neighbor, enemy, or spouse. A narcissist does not understand these concepts, no matter how charming an NPD may be. Charm is not the same as love; charm is public relations. It is presentation and spin. Narcissists are charming but not loving. You can go to charm school, but there is no empathy school.” (Clifton Fuller quote in “ Marriage Vampire: Living with a Narcissist ")  A narcissist will deny it, but their characteristics always eventually show up in their behavior. I tell my clients to watch and recognize the patterns of behaviors and words that a narcissist will show you! If you have a shell, four legs and can quickly pull your body into that shell, you are a turtle. If you are a turtle with specific markings, a long neck, claws, a sharp beak that looks l ike a pointy nose, and have a mean disposition, you are a snapping turtle. Just like you learn the characteristics of snapping turtle and predict it's unwise to pat its shell, recognize a narcissist when he shows you who he is! My first book, " Marriage Vampire: Living with a Narcissist ", was written specifically for Christian women. Some readers requested that I also write a second book for all audiences, both male and female, both Christians and non-Christians. The second book, " The Narcissist: When Dreams Become Nightmares " includes clinical information, addresses the traps narcissists set to lure unsuspecting victims, the different types of narcissists, formation of their personalities, and how to address each type of narcissist. When you know about narcissists, you become more empowered to avoid their entrapments, learn how to establish clear communication to decrease their ability to lie, how to set boundaries, when to confront and when not to confront them, and more effectively recognize their behavior patterns. Every day we make choices. We must also deal with difficult personality types and individuals. But dealing with a narcissistic personality will require time, attention. limits, and knowledge. Arm yourself with information so that when you come into contact with a narcissist, as all of us will in life, you will be more prepared. If you realize your behaviors reflect a potential narcissistic personality, seek help! Change is difficult, but with a willingness to obtain consistent (and possibly even life-long) counseling support, you are better able to address the complexities of a narcissistic personality, find better coping skills, be honest with yourself, and move forward as you attempt to find honesty and increased security in your relationships with others. Watch our video to learn even more or scan QR codes below to be redirected to book listings. Scan QR codes below to be redirected directly to Amazon, where both books are available.

"Stimming" is a term that indicates self-stimulatory or self-soothing behaviors. “Stimming” is a term that indicates self-stimulatory or self-soothing behavior. We all stim, to different degrees. Some stim behaviors are appropriate & acceptable, such as repetitive behaviors most of us do, but other behaviors which interfere with learning, are destructive (to a person or object), or which result in social exclusion, rejection, or stigma are those we can learn skills to address. "Stimming is like turning down the radio when you think you smell something burning. It's the way of turning off the other senses so you can make sure nothing is burning". (Lamar Hardwick) "For autistic people, stimming can be a great way of managing anxiety. Telling kids not to stim or punishing them for doing so means they lose a vital coping strategy." ~Jeanette Purkis “Stimming” is a term that indicates self-stimulatory or self-soothing behavior. The public has become more conscious of stimming due to its increased awareness of the Autism Spectrum and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorders. Some stimming behaviors are considered appropriate or acceptable, such as things most of us do, but others that interfere with learning are destructive (to a person or object) or can result in social exclusion, rejection, or stigma. There are rare cases where stimming can be dangerous. Stimming can take multiple forms but is generally repetitive or unusual movements or sounds. Stimming may be seen in repetitive motions (snapping fingers, tapping fingers or feet, biting fingernails, twirling hair, mouth motions or sounds. Examples can include flapping fingers, cracking knuckles, drumming your fingers or tapping a pencil on a desktop, biting fingernails, rocking back and forth, twirling hair around your finger, sounds or whistling, or making mouth motions. It may not be noticeable if done for short periods of time but would naturally become more apparent if done for lengthy periods of time or with exaggerated or unusual movements or sounds. Beyond being a self-stimulatory behavior, stimming is also generally a self-soothing behavior. What does that mean? These sensory stimulating behaviors can help the individual to alleviate anxiety and manage emotions like anger, fear, or excitement. Stimming can help a child calm down by either focusing their attention on the stim or producing associations between the task at hand and behaviors they associate with calmness.   "When I did stims, such as dribbling sand through my fingers, it calmed me down. When I stimmed, sounds that hurt my ears stopped. Most kids with autism do these repetitive behaviors because it feels good in some say. It may counteract an overwhelming sensory environment..." ~Temple Grandin Every person is different. Some of us are active, and some are not; others are tall, and some are shorter; some are young while others are older; and some may have degrees of autism from none to a high degree. Every human behavior that can be observed is on the spectrum of low to high. Some people will do an activity, make a motion, or make a sound a little bit, while others will do it all day or in a repetitive or intrusive manner. The degree to which the behavior is done is related to the acceptability of the behavior. All of us do stimming from time to time. We need to attend and address it if it becomes problematic and must also have an awareness that individuals with sensory overload or sensitivity may hear, see, smell or respond to stimuli differently that others do. What may be calming behaviors for one individual may be irritating or disruptive behaviors for another. "Stimming is an activity that keeps our neurons firing while we're not meaningful engaged with others or working on a task where we need to concentrate." ~Mary Barbera Some who may show noticeable signs of stimming may have autism , ADHD , Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), schizophrenia, or PTSD  (post-traumatic stress disorder). Stimming usually has triggers that prompt stimming (often related to anxiety), will serve some benefit to the person stimming, and will also include some risks or costs. Stimming is included as one of the diagnostic characteristics of autism spectrum disorder (ASD ). Their stimming may create difficulties with behavior, learning, or communication. For example, a person tapping their foot  may be a stimming movement to self-calm but may also be perceived as being impatient by observers. Kids who stim are frequently and inaccurately perceived as being intentionally disruptive at home and in school. The child may actually be trying to focus or trying to address anxiety they are feeling. Another example would be repeating words or phrases . We consider it appropriate to repeat a phone number or address as we commit it to memory, but it is unsuitable if we repeat the exact phrases or words many times, non-stop, or for no reason. Twirling or arranging our hair  as we attempt to shape it into a hairstyle might be okay but constantly twirling it for no apparent reason would be considered inappropriate and damaging. Kids who stim are frequently and inaccurately perceived as being intentionally disruptive in learning environments at school and at home. In actuality, the child may be trying to focus or to deal with anxiety they may be experiencing in the setting. Sensory stimulation has shown to impact memory and cognitive associations in both children and adults. Sensory stimulation has been shown to impact memory and cognitive associations.  As a caregiver to a child, whether the child is or is not neurodivergent, you may have to determine whether or not the behavior is problematic. Are the behaviors distracting to the child or others or inappropriate? No matter our age, we can continue learning what is appropriate and inappropriate in life, what is beneficial for us to do and what isn’t, and how to improve or survive difficult life experiences. We must be open to learning about ourselves, even though our life experiences, in order to improve our lives and those around us. We must also teach our children vital life skillsets to enable them to make choices that allow them to live better. Read as much as you can to educate yourself, analyze and wisely try different methods, and work with your child to find a more adaptive substitute if their behaviors are inappropriate or damaging to them or others. Seek medical, school, your school, a respected parent or educator’s input, or counseling from professionals who can help guide you. Find alternatives rather than resorting to punishment or negativity when frustrated. The goal is to eliminate behaviors that are problematic or dangerous but can be safe and enjoyable for a child (or adult) to do if it is practical or functional. Stimming...helps create an island of predictability in an ocean of randomness." ~Camila Titone, Son-Rise Program) In some cases, stimming causes injuries to children or adults, such as if they hit their heads against a wall, bite, or harm themselves. These behaviors must be stopped. It’s essential to determine the impetus for the behavior. Is the environment particularly stressful? Change the environment. Just because you do not find the environment stressful does not mean the child or an adult perceives or reacts to the environment the same way.  It’s important to remember that every adult and every child are different. Some people thrive on noise and chatter, while others thrive on quiet. Some children are overly sensitive to stimuli or noise. Some are under-sensitive. Some need kinetic and tactile stimulation, like playing with Play-Doh or tapping their feet. If the behaviors are maladaptive, help the child find alternatives. You will need to be observant and adaptive to the child’s needs.  Reach out for help if you need it. There are many resources on the internet and in communities to help parents and teachers better help their neurodivergent children.  Additional Resources: · Stimming: Why It Happens and How to Manage It ( healthline.com ) · RaisingChildren.net/au (The Australian Parenting Website) Stimming  and Autism ·Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia-Research Institute: Stimming and why it matters · WebMd.com : Autism · National Autism Association · Autism Awareness Centre ·Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Autism spectrum disorder (ASD): Diagnostic criteria .

WHAT DOES “CATFISHING” MEAN? “Catfishing” refers to a "person who lures another person into a relationship with a fictional online persona". National Catfish Month  arrives yearly in August, and it's a great time to spread awareness about the positive impacts that simply relaxing, doing what we enjoy, and being out in nature can have on our physical and mental health. For all the fishermen and women out there, it’s a great excuse, uhhh…reason, to get outdoors, pack a picnic lunch, throw a baited hook in the water, relax, and then, to top it all off, bring home an ice chest full of fresh catfish for supper! For all non-fisher types, it’s simply a wonderful opportunity to go outdoors, exercise , take a walk, take time to slow down a bit and search for beauty in the world surrounding us. You can still pack that picnic lunch and head out for a hike at your favorite state park, in your neighborhood or city, and have that picnic under a big tree. It’s a good time to renew and refresh. But there's another side to "Catfishing" that isn’t so positive. It's sinister and deceptive. “Catfishing” is when a 'person lures another person into a relationship by using a fictional online persona.’ "Catfishers" are predatory people lying about who they are in order to trap another person into a relationship or take advantage of them in some way. It can be a personal relationship, a business relationship, a leadership relationship the catfish is trying to obtain, or a financial relationship that benefits the catfish and harms the other person. Catfishing is not limited to deception online but can also be done in person, directly to your face. Narcissists are catfishers. That kind of catfishing is trickery at its murkiest, darkest level and always has dangerous repercussions. “Liars, deceivers, and cheaters do so by making a choice to do so. Once a lie has been told, a person has cheated, or a deception has been devised or done, it forever becomes a juggling act to keep building lies to cover the first deceptive action. Deception’s goal is to create chaos and confusion in the minds of those being misled.   It ’s so much better and makes life so much easier, just to be honest, right from the beginning.” (Clifton Fuller) Catfishing is seen in spam calls, emails, or online internet social media contacts, where it is rampant and has become quite sophisticated. It’s in political circles. Lying on resumes and acting as if that’s "normal" behavior and everyone does it, which is a lie. It comes from other nations, even to the extent of destabilizing countries by feeding misinformation. There are entire communities of catfishers whose income relies solely on scamming and spamming others. Catfishers are those people who make calls in the early hours of the morning, awakening a sleepy person (the "target," and often elderly) with messages supposedly indicating that a beloved family member is in serious peril. The catfish caller alone can “save the day if you immediately wire us all your life’s savings.” Catfishers are those "celebrities" who contact you online, who know just their name and image will generate interest from their targets, who know you alone can understand how lonely they are, how special you are, how they need your emotional and financial support due to elaborate schemes they lay before you, and how you are a one-of-a-kind person that they’ve taken a liking to as they’ve fully researched you. Unfortunately, they have researched you and have an expertise at finding out even simple details about you, lending to their credibility. Catfishers are also those narcissists who look perfect but once caught, begin peeling off their masks, revealing and exposing who they truly are as they start attacking you mentally, emotionally, and even sometimes physically. Don’t be deceived. The catfishers do their homework, find everything they can about their targets, use the internet (& even friends, associates, and family) to research you, and devise the most effective plans to entangle you in their traps. They also know how to skirt the laws. They've learned or been taught how to 'twist' the rules, or your values, to their advantage so they can reel in their catches. That's the kind of catfish you never want to be caught by or to catch! For those who have a religious belief system, deceit is not a positive character attribute but instead indicates weakness, a person who lies, and an immoral character. For Christians, the Bible is very clear about deception. God hates a lying tongue and false witnesses (Proverbs 6:17-19), false oaths (Zechariah 8:17), and lying lips (Proverbs 12:22). God instructs Christians not to lie and to instead be truthful (Ephesians 4:22-25); to stop deceiving others and to imitate Christ (I Peter 2:1). For Jewish followers, Deuteronomy 19:16-21 says false witnesses should receive the same punishment they sought to meet out on the unjustly accused. In Leviticus 19:11, Jews are told, “You shall not steal; neither shall you deal falsely, nor lie one to another.” For Muslims, the Quran (16.105) says, “Only they forge the lie who do not believe in Allah’s communications, and these are the liars.” When those professing to follow a faith model or religion don’t follow the teachings in which they profess to believe, it causes others to perceive them as being deceptive in what they say or do versus what they teach. This happens in all religions, groups, OR individuals because we are human. What’s important to understand is that it’s the behaviors that really matter!  All religions teach followers to discipline thoughts in order to control actions. That is harder than it seems and easier said than done, but we can all learn greater discipline once we understand ALL our actions will always have a ripple effect and impact others. This is true whether we follow a particular religious belief or not. Actions do speak louder than words. We must also be as “as wise as serpents, yet harmless as doves.” That includes educating ourselves, recognizing there are ‘catfishers’ out there whose goal is to take advantage of us or others, and taking actions that we can in order to protect each other. At the same time, it’s so important that we also focus on seeing all the good that exists in our world and in humanity! That helps our mental health stay strong!   Who knows? Now may just happen to be the time to reel in those deceptive catfish, or it may be the time to walk (or run) away from the bait they are dangling in front of you. If you or a person you know or love has been "catfished," don’t be ashamed , as that plays into the hands of the catfisher. Their intent is to deceive and humiliate you. It makes them feel powerful. Don’t give them that satisfaction. Remove yourself from the catfisher’s influence. Seek help from family, friends, a support group, professional help, or from the resources you find below. Below are some resources that may help: How to Donate Wisely and Avoid Charity Scams | Consumer Advice ( ftc.gov ) Stop Unwanted Robocalls and Texts | Federal Communications Commission ( fcc.gov ) Complain about phone and text scams, robocalls, and telemarketers | USAGov Scam Alerts | Food and Nutrition Service ( usda.gov ) Protect Yourself from Social Security Scams | SSA Report Phishing | Internal Revenue Service ( irs.gov ) Phishing: Spot and report scam emails, texts, websites and... - NCSC.GOV.UK Smartphones ( missingkids.org ) How to stay safe on social media – Amnesty International Australia Social Media and Teen Mental Health - The Annie E. Casey Foundation ( aecf.org ) Controlling the spread of misinformation ( apa.org ) Aging in an Era of Fake News - PMC ( nih.gov ) What Is Pathological Lying, and Can It Be Treated? ( webmd.com ) 10 Pathological Liar Signs and How to Cope | Newport Institute Catfishing is all about the deception of a targeted person or group. It is seen in spam calls, emails, or online social media contacts, where it is rampant and has become quite sophisticated. It is often online but may also be in-person when one person deceives another individual or a group of people they know. But the behavior and manipulations of conmen (& con-women) and catfishers are ALWAYS  deceptive and manipulative. Recognize them for what they are, avoid them, warn others about them and understand their patterns. #NationalCatfishMonth #MentalHealthMatters #ReachOutForHelp #LifeCoach #Relationships #Catfishing #Counseling #Deception #Narcissism

Exercise often boils down to one internal question: "will my willpower or my excuses win today when it comes to exercise?" Exercise is simply movement of our bodies, and that can be simple or complex...we each have the power within us to decide. Vincent Williams, Sr., said “Push harder than yesterday if you want a different tomorrow.” Our life happiness is connected so deeply to our bodies! Our bodies house our brain, internal organs that keep us alive and which impact our energy level, ability to think and ability to move forward in life. Exercise and movement impacts each of us as we maintain our bodies. If we have a treasure, say a beautiful ring, a super awesome car, a great pair of teeth, we tend to be proud of those things and take special care of them. We should do the same with our bodies. Self-care is not selfish...it is wise and will help us throughout life! You don't have to join a gym to exercise. You can exercise in your home, in your car, in your office, in your neighborhood, by yourself or with friends. Some find that exercising with others inspires them, while some use exercise as a time to think and meditate. The cool thing about exercise is that you can pick and choose what works for you, know that any form of exercise will help you become stronger and more flexible. But did you know that exercise isn't just for the body? It's also impacting our brains and our mental health! Exercise naturally impacts your brain, body, energy level, strength, and mental health! As James Brown sang and shouted for us to do, “ Get up offa that thing! Shake it 'till you feel better!" James knew that moving creates energy and he could sure stir up a crowd. He realized something important about energetic movement, exercise and its natural and immediate effects to improve create energy, make people smile, and relieve stress. We’ve all had them…those days where we don’t want to get out of bed, where curling back up underneath the covers seems like a saner option than facing the world. Maybe it’s a dreaded work meeting, a homework assignment that’s fast coming due, the knowledge that after a busy workday, we'll be going home to make meals or juggle a family's needs. It may even the notion of having to go grocery shopping. You’re just so tired… whatever the “cause,” our self-talk and mental health can keep us from being the energetic people we'd like to be. If you suffer from depression or anxiety, these “dark days” can become the standard. That’s not good. There’s some pretty simple stuff you can do to jumpstart healing, mentally and physically. Research indicates even light exercise increases health and life expectancy. The real rub is that you know that’s true… intellectually. You’ve told yourself that hundreds, even thousands of times. We’re preaching to the choir on that. So, how do we beat that never-ending exhaustion, throw off the blankets, and tackle the world? Get moving even if taking what may seem small, or insignificant steps initially. The trick is to keep taking steps to create a habit and gradually incorporating exercise into our lifestyle. No matter our mental health situation, exercise helps! But as in all cases of life, moderation is the key. There are always extreme cases and some people obsessively over-exercise. There is such a thing as “too much” exercise, but that's not the issue if you’re anything like me. Obsessive over-exercising is usually related to eating disorders and body image and that type of over-exercising impacts a lower percentage of people than does those who have learned to exercise moderately, which is wise, or those who never exercise, which can be dangerous. Non-exercising harms us as much as obsessive exercise. Both over or under-exercising can be deadly and kill. Our brains are wired to respond to the movement of our bodies by releasing endorphins, and we need those. Seriously.  endorphins are necessary to stabilize our mood, and if we get enough of them, some pretty cool stuff happens. The specific type of endorphins that exercise helps release in our brains are called “endocannabinoids,” as the name might imply; their purpose is to get you high, but in a natural way. When we get enough of them, our brains kick into overdrive; exercise helps our neurons grow, meaning better memory, spatial awareness, and processing speed… we think better when we get our blood pumping and oxygenated. Not only that, but endocannabinoids also make us WANT stuff. The parts of our brain that control our motivation light up when we get enough exercise. Click on Ted-Talks image for great presentation by neuroscientist Wendy Suzuk to learn more about the natural chemical reactions our bodies give us when we exercise. Your brain may take a while to get used to the increased endorphins, but when it does, look out world! Now, imagine what you could do with a power-charged brain, better memory, and a renewed sense of purpose. Just imagine! Exercise helps kickstart your limbic system; you may have heard of the “runner’s high,” a feeling of intense bliss and increased energy that happens to joggers and marathon runners. Turns out, any exercise can have that effect, though aerobic stuff (rhythmic exercise that gets you breathing harder, like climbing stairs, cycling, running, and swimming) tends to get us there quicker. Aerobic exercise is great for the brain's mood centers and easier than you may think. Start out small, even if only 5 minutes a day and gradually add a few more exercises as you become stronger. If you set a goal of 30 minutes every day and take a walk, you’ll start seeing changes. It may take a few days but try it for a couple of weeks. Grab some headphones, pick a podcast (we recommend comedy podcasts because laughter helps get even more endorphins flowing!), or some upbeat music. Walk wherever you can, in your apartment, around the block, at your office, up some stairs rather than taking an elevator, in circles in the yard. If you don't have a space to walk, dance in place. Sit at a desk or in a chair and exercise. Anything that keeps you consistently moving for a few minutes. It doesn’t have to be fast; you don’t have to break a sweat or lose your breath (though if you feel up to it, don’t let us stop you). Get up and move! Make your goal small and start now if you can. Be consistent with your goal and do as much as you can. Set your iPhone or computer alarm to alert you or send you a reminder every 30 minutes or every hour to get up and move! We're never too young or too old to exercise, stretch, or move! Children often exercise naturally through their play, especially outdoors. Running, hopping, skipping, especially with friends, builds body agility, socialization skills, and confidence. Organized sports can later become part of a child's exercise routine but monitor if the sport is allowing your child to exercise freely or if it is putting undue stress or unnecessary expectations on a child. Having a child in a very structured sport at a young age may be damaging, rather than in a child's best developmental practice. Even though sports can teach valuable team building, discipline, and life habits, exercise should be for everyone, athlete or not. Women can often exercise after giving birth , with a physician's approval (read more here ). depending upon how the delivery went. They can also exercise prior to birth with their physician's approval. Moms can even exercise with their babies or children as part of their body restrengthening goals. Spouses can help with childcare or also participate in exercise classes to motivate their family members to have fun together while also building strength and agility together! Families can have fun together on hiking or playing outside outings, exercising together inside the home, or making exercise a regular habit in their family's daily routine. This models an example for children and teens that carry through a lifetime, preventing disease, injury, and unnecessary medical costs related to obesity or poor health for all family members involved. Individuals with arthritis, mobility, or aging issues often benefit by slower movements, stretching, or water-walking or water-exercises. Many insurance plans have preventive care coverage for clients, and many Medicare plans offer "Silver Sneaker" or other over 65 plans to help the aged increase exercise and mobility. Insurance companies have found that it saves their insurance company money, as well as improves quality of life for this particular age group. Mayo Clinic reports, "Aquatic exercise is a low-impact activity that takes the pressure off the bones, joints and muscles. Water also offers natural resistance, which can help strengthen the muscles. Aquatic exercise can have many health benefits, such as improved heart health, reduced stress, and improved muscular endurance and strength. Exercising in the water can be a great way to add physical activity into your life. It also may be a helpful way for older adults to stay active." ( Click here for detailed Mayo report ) Other resources: National Institute of Health Mayo Clinic The American Psychological Association Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Nutrition.gov Healthline.com Free exercise workout music  (YouTube has tons of free workout music!) How to Exercise with Limited Mobility - HelpGuide.org NHS (National Health Services-UK) -Exercise info & video workouts We've seen some people overcome unbelievable obstacles in their lives, and you can be one of those people! It's your thinking, your mindset, that makes you get up in the morning to exercise, do the hard work you need to do, and reframe that negative mindset into one that visualizes the changes you are making even before they are made. That visualization is important, and I often tell my clients to visualize scenarios of success and you'll be more likely to obtain those results. “Just believe in yourself. Even if you don’t, just pretend that you do and at some point, you will.” – Venus Williams Self-talk and mindset are so important, as is encouragement. Doesn't matter if that encouragement comes from others or it's coming from within you. It's refocusing your mind on what you can do and moving toward that goal, that vision, or that success. So go grab a great pair of supportive athletic shoes, some water to stay hydrated, and get moving! Begin moving by yourself or find a friend or a group to join. Consider hiring a good trainer, begin watching a video, or get up and vacuum the house or mow the lawn! Just get moving! Remember, it's your mindset that may be that extra push to encourage you to get moving! To inspire you on your way, read some great quotes from some people who have faced the same challenges you may be facing, and see their mindset attitudes about moving forward! "It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves." (Sir Edmund Hillary; first to reach top of Mt. Everest with fellow mountaineer climber, Tenzing Norgay) “You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky “I’ve failed over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan

Boundaries for people are what boundaries are for nations. These are the lines that serve as markers of where we begin and where others start. Healthy boundaries define our space and help us feel comfortable and safe. Boundaries help us from feeling threatened or taken advantage of, which prevents us from feeling angry and resentful. Setting effective boundaries is an important safety & health issue affecting both children and adults. What does it mean to "set boundaries?" Do you infringe on other’s boundaries? Is someone overstepping yours? Boundaries are the rules we set for ourselves and for others, such as how close we let people get to us. Everyone's values are different, and when setting boundaries, we can be arbitrary as we want to be. And we can change boundaries whenever we want. Because all people are different, it is impossible for others to know what our boundaries are, which can be really irritating, and sometimes threatening. We do have general rules, called "manners", but our rules may be broad. These will vary in other cultures or in different regions of our country. First, we must recognize and decide the boundaries we want for ourselves. Do we want to be in bed by a certain time? Do we want to limit or increase our food intake? Do we want to spend more time outdoors? Do we want to have limits on the relationships we choose? Do we want to control our time more effectively, including activities, visiting family, being with friends, times spent at work, time watching TV, etc.? There are many choices to make consciously to set boundaries. We each need to decide the boundaries we want and then "declare," or share or tell others what those boundaries are. We must communicate what we are willing to do, and not to do. We must communicate the expectations we have for others, as well. These expectations are up to you, but you cannot presume that others will respect your boundaries if they do not know what those boundaries are. .. i.e. if you do not tell them what your boundaries are. Some ways to effectively communicate your boundaries verbally and non-verbally are:  1.      Verbally : You can set these expectations verbally: you can say “no”, “stop” or “I will not talk about that”. Sadly, the words we say are only 7% of any message. 38% of a verbal message is the "tone" of your voice.  Tone of voice always is more powerful than the words you say.  If the words you say and your tone of voice do not match, people will always believe your tone of voice. It's always been amazing to me that when people announce they want to go on a diet, some people immediately begin to offer them food. Instead of respecting that person's announced "I'm dieting" boundary, some may try to unconsciously "test" to see if that boundary is firm or act as if the dieting person is suddenly going to starve. Show these people that your boundary is firm. Use both verbal and non-verbal communication to let them know you mean business, or even ask them, "Why are you trying to get me to go off my diet by offering me food you know I shouldn't eat? Why don't you support me in my efforts to lose weight and be a cheerleader for me rather than undermining my efforts?" You may find the person offering the food is embarrassed to realize that's what they were doing. I've seen that "test of a person's boundary" behavior to be especially present when someone is dieting, trying to quit smoking, or avoiding alcohol. Don't know exactly why, but it makes it even more important to be persistent in keeping your boundaries in those areas and communicating clearly what your boundaries are and that you are sticking to them! One other area I've seen that type of "test the boundary" thinking is when a person rejects another person's physical or sexual advances. Some people choose to interpret the word "No" as not really meaning no but as an indication that the other person is "playing hard to get". That kind of thinking can be very dangerous, opens the door to lawsuits especially in the workplace or when a person is in a more powerful position, and never ends well. Take a person's word for it when they say they are setting a boundary and respect it! If you've decided you need to set limits (a boundary) on the amount of time you're spending with your co-workers and instead use that time for yourself or to be with your family more, then you don't need to make excuses. Simply say, "I won't be attending Tuesday Happy Hours" You can decide to explain why...or not. You can say, "I'm making a separation between my work life and my personal life." or "I've decided I want to spend more time with my family." Or say nothing. Or do nothing...just don't show up for the Happy Hour. It's your choice how to spend your time and you do not need to make excuses for your decisions and you certainly don't need to lie to pacify others. 2.      Non-verbally : Even if you get the words and tone right, 55% of any message is your facial and body expression.  Non-verbal communication overpowers anything we say.  Look like you mean it!  Stand tall, square your shoulders, look directly at the person you are speaking to, and project strength. Hold your hand up in a "Stop" signal. Or even turn or walk away as if ignoring even the very suggestion that you'll break your boundary. You want to appear confident and assertive, but there's no need to be aggressive.  Aggressive behavior invites an aggressive response.  You can say, “please” in a determined tone of voice as you look directly at a person. Sometimes the best way to deal with intrusive people is simply to refuse to answer at all.  You are not obligated to give others personal information or to discuss things you do not want to discuss.  This may seem rude, but we tell our children not to talk to strangers and they do not have to obey the instructions of others who have no legitimate authority over them.  You can post a Do-Not-Disturb sign, turn off your phone, close your door, or turn off the lights.  You can shake your head, develop a really good glare, put up your hand (palm turned up & out, which is the universal sign for "stop"), simply say nothing when being pressured to do a job or activity you don’t want to do, or walk away. Start out small, learn to say no about little things. Start to say, “I won't” instead of “I can’t”.  Say you’re busy or have plans; if they ask what your plans are, you’re not obligated to give them any reasons or excuses. Instead say “I will not be able to come”, “I have other things to do”. Personally, I am always busy. Sometimes I am just busy breathing. But I am always busy and choose my life and its boundaries. They are all kinds of boundaries:  personal boundaries, professional boundaries, and ethical boundaries. Many professionals agree to codes of conduct when we enter certain professions or work for employers who have company guidelines. When I worked for the federal government and has a security clearance, I was directed never to discuss confidential information with anyone who did not have a "need to know", regardless of the level of their clearance, and regardless of their status in the organization, period! It was against the law for me to remove any documents or information from that facility and if I did, I could be imprisoned. Professionals should refuse to do things they are not trained to do. A podiatrist should not treat people for heart conditions, nor should a plumber agree to do a root canal even if he’s cheaper than your dentist!  They should say “no” when asked to do things that are unsafe or illegal. We all need ethical boundaries. Governments set laws determining what legal or illegal is in their jurisdiction, and we become angry and distrustful of legislators when they don’t honor those laws. We do not take the laws of the United States with us when we visit other nations.  We must know and adhere to the laws of the nation we are visiting. We become distrustful if we see people who violate the boundaries of a profession. If a police officer handles a violative situation ineffectively, if a CEO steals from his clients, if a politician lies about his donors or activities, if a minister breaks a moral code we expect from them, if a teacher steps across the line of professional standards. There are expectations of boundaries for anyone in a leadership role that we consider to be "the norm" and when those boundaries are crossed, we feel betrayal and disrespect for those individuals, even though 99% of the people in that profession adhere to the profession's expectation. Things are either right or they are wrong.  We must decide what is right for us, and what we are not willing to do because we believe it is wrong. Our belief system is basic to the identity of who we are and what we value in life. Most codes of ethics are based on best practices, or what a competent and reasonable person would do, as well as a need to respect the rights and boundaries of others. If your best friend asks you to do something wrong, tell them no.  If you boyfriend or girlfriend asks you to do something you think, or feel, is wrong, tell them no!  If your boss’ son tells you to write a college paper for him, tell him no.  It does not matter if it’s a friend, family member, special person you are in a relationship with, or a person in position of power. If it’s wrong, or anything you don’t want to do, tell them no. Violating our values makes us feel bad about ourselves.  We should "stand up" for ourselves, with firmness and resolution.  If that is difficult, or we are threatened when we stand up for ourselves, we need to enlist the help of counseling professionals to set boundaries and find solutions, the assistance of law enforcement or the judicial system. At the end of the day, it is not the boundaries you declare, it is the boundaries you enforce! You must be willing to defend your boundaries and stand up to others who accidentally or intentionally violate them. This will take some courage. Be firm and be consistent. Tell people that you refuse to talk to them if they become too loud or become verbally abusive. Tell your supervisor you will not work in a dangerous environment. Tell coworkers that they cannot borrow your stapler without your permission, sit on your desk, or ask you out on dates. If you set a limit, decide ahead of time, what you will do if others cross that line and be prepared as eventually someone will cross that line! Accept the fact you will be judged by others, no matter what your boundaries are. You may be called picky, prudish, stubborn, or rude, but that's ok because it doesn't make it true. People can tell me I'm purple and I know I'm not purple. People can tell me I'm old-fashioned because I won't lie or step over other people to try to become the top-dog in my profession. I can enforce my values, in my personal and professional life, to be the boundaries I am proud of and value, whether or not others chose the same boundaries. Stand up for yourself. You may just find you really like the view. Personal boundaries are all individual. They are also all protective of each individual person. Boundaries can always be moved. In your life, you will find that circumstances, events, new insights, and personal values will cause you to change your boundaries. That’s ok! Boundaries do not have to be set-in-stone but can be flexible. Therapists help people identify what their existing boundaries are, which are productive, and which actually are interfering in their lives. It's important that clients clearly identify their value systems, set boundaries in line with their values, and find support to maintain and enforce those boundaries. That may be difficult initially, but with support setting boundaries can become easier to set and manage and make for a much happier life.

We are thrilled to share our blog articles with readers! Shoutout to Buffalo Creek Designs for creating our new website and a special blog section! Lots of information will be shared from Clifton Fuller Counseling and Life Coaching offices to guest blogs sharing inspirational stories and information. Why do we blog? Several reasons! We may not be writers, but we can sure talk. If we don’t have anyone to talk to, we blog! "We blog because we’re not good rappers." (Unknown source said that great quote:) “Content is anything that adds value to the reader’s life.” (Avinash Kaughik). We hope to share information that challenges readers to consider a new idea or perspective. “All the things I love is what my business is about.” (Martha Stewart). We agree with Martha and also love what we do. Our passion for learning ignites joy, discovery, and creativity within us. Blogs are just mini-ideas swirling around until gathered into focused thought. Short stories evolve as a writer captures the mind’s thoughts onto paper. Embrace A Fuller Life Blogs will share information about Mental Health Topics! "Embrace a Fuller Life" Blogs share information about mental health topics, daily living topics, coaching, resources, and posts from Clifton Fuller, as well as guests who we believe have an important message or information to share. Life takes a lot of growing, maturation, knowledge, and understanding of oneself as well as understanding and knowledge of how other people think, why they act the way they do, and why the physical and mental parts of who we are so heavily interconnected and impact each other so much. We will delve into life's challenges, successes, opportunities, and mindsets to find happy and contented lives. Embrace A Fuller Life Blogs will share information, tips, and insights about building stronger relationships! We all want to be contented and happy in life, but life is often challenging, unsettling, unpredictable, and even at times dangerous. It can also be full of joy, happiness, creativity, and expressions of who we are. When our lives are full of strong relationships, when we understand the role communication, body language, and words have on our success in life, we gain greater control of our lives. We open the door to increased happiness, greater confidence, and willingness to move forward in life. We hope you enjoy our blogs and benefit from what you read! Please give us your feedback, share if our blogs inspired you, and share your inspiring stories with us! If you want to take advantage of opportunities for coaching for life, personal, relationship, or business coaching or are seeking counseling services, contact us today. The journey begins with that first step...or in this case, that first click on a link ! If you like our articles, consider registering for our free, quarterly newsletter! It's a beautifully designed flip magazine, chock full of great information, resources, and guest articles. Subscribe today! Have a wonderful day!

Dyslexia and dysgraphia impacted my life before I knew what it was. I want to share a story from my dyslexic life, from “The Old Days,” back when I was a child. Despite what my sons insist, no, I didn’t wake up to the sunrise and trek into the great plains to hunt down another mammoth for the rest of the cave. Still, I was doing something that felt about as titanic and massive: navigating the education system of Houston, Texas, in the mid-1950s. I was considered one of the “dumb” kids in my class, a status given to me by my peers and alluded to by my teachers due to my reading, writing, and spelling difficulties. Think about that…think about your school experience. Do you recall that kid, or were you the child everyone knew was the smartest or the dumbest? The labels, we all remember them. Back then, “intelligence” was measured mainly by literacy. If a child could read, the more words they accurately identified and used in written form, and if they spelled those words correctly, the “smarter” they were. Sadly, I was not at the head of the pack, and the pack let me know it. My teachers would use my writing as an example to the rest of the class of what NOT to do. At my school, we were ranked by reading ability, and those meeting the greatest standards, those who soared academically, were called the “Eagles.” I was not an eagle. I was one of the “Turkeys”. Turkeys struggle to fly. Being considered a turkey wasn’t great for a young kid’s self-esteem.   When I was in first grade (the first time), my class was given a five-word spelling test around Thanksgiving. Our teacher stamped a turkey beside each correctly spelled word. I spelled two words correctly and received two turkey stamps. Our teacher was so proud of her students that she decided to show the principal what a great job everyone had done on that particular spelling test. She lined us all up to parade in front of the smiling school principal as we proudly (?) held up our spelling papers with all those turkey stamps. The first group to march past the principal were the heroes, the gifted-soaring eagles, the ‘five-turkey’ stamp group. That included almost everyone in the class…except for three students. I was one of those three students. I prayed the principal would get tired of seeing all those turkey stamps before my turn came to hold my spelling paper up for him to see. At the end of the long line, you guessed it, came the two-turkey stamp student (me), then the one-turkey student (a special needs girl), and the zero-turkey student (a Hispanic boy who was beginning to learn to speak English). I felt humiliated that I was not in the five-turkey group but took solace that at least I was in front of the two last students. No student should ever feel like the zero, one, and two turkey children felt that day . At that time, neither my teacher nor my parents knew anything about why I couldn’t progress like other children; they knew nothing about dyslexia or dysgraphia. It wasn’t long before it wasn’t just the principal, teachers, and my classmates…but everyone seemed to know that “Clifton can’t read.” Unbeknownst to me, as with many people with dyslexia, I had begun to compensate for my unidentified learning disability by building strengths in other areas. People thought I was witty and charming so that I could get by socially. I may have been “dumb,” but I was friendly and entertaining, and strangely, I discovered I had a pretty good memory. It was in fourth grade that one day, I suddenly could read. I opened a book, and it made sense. The words and symbols on the pages suddenly had meaning. It felt like magic,  and my life literally changed overnight . I realize now it was a pre-adolescent growth spurt where neurological connections are made in the brain due to physical growth. I didn’t care why; I just knew that I could suddenly read that day! I didn’t realize that reading silently is much faster than reading aloud (because we speak when reading aloud, which slows down the reading). It was only later I figured out why other classmates seemed to finish assignments about 3-4 times more quickly than I did. I read silently at the same pace as I read aloud due to my dyslexia. That slower reading pace continues to this day, and I’m in my seventies. In fifth grade, a teacher placed my desk beside a cabinet of encyclopedias (that had pictures). I read and reread those books many times. In that process, my reading speed improved somewhat, but I also realized I could memorize things easier than other people seemed able to do. Once I got through the long reading process, I could recall or quote what I’d read. I could recall where a paragraph of needed information was located in a book. When people told me things, it stuck. Dyslexia forced me to become an auditory learner. It seemed that I developed above-average recall ability regarding stuff I heard. I was surprised when others were surprised at my ability in this area. It later became an unexpected strength in the profession I chose as a counselor. That same compensation is seen in many actors and actresses who have dyslexia. It is also seen in the minds of entrepreneurs, investors, and people who ‘think out of the box.’ Dyslexics must ‘think out of the box’ and often find unique or creative solutions because the brains of people with dyslexia don’t process information as others do. What I didn’t know then, and wouldn’t know until I was an adult, was that I was running the race in lead boots. I have dysgraphia, one of the weird neurological disorders that make up a blanket diagnosis, “Dyslexia.”  My brain doesn’t interpret text correctly. When the signal from my eyes reaches my visual cortex, the letters, and punctuation don’t orient themselves in the proper spaces; if I look at the words “though,” “through,” and “tough,” my brain takes longer to spot the differences that come immediately to most folks. I recall one of my college English professors drew a picture of a witch in the margins of my written (pre-computer) homework assignments because I’d used ‘witch’ repeatedly rather than the word ‘which.‘ Thankfully, this professor was a gifted speed reader, appreciated the logic in my compositions, and knew about dyslexia. I love whoever created spell-check because they at least gave me a leg-up as I ran in lead boots. Even though the term “Dyslexia” was first coined in 1887, it wouldn’t reach the mainstream until 1968 and wouldn’t be a topic of major research until 1972, when I had already (by the grace of God) made it through High School. This meant that, as a child, I had the perception that I wasn’t as smart as I needed to be and worked twice as hard to catch up. I developed study habits that compensated for my slow reading pace, and I put effort into my memorization. It saved me time to remember important information, rather than try to re-read and find it again, and I needed that saved time to finish the reading. I had to adapt, and it was HARD. Now, we have the terminology. I wasn’t an idiot the entire time; I just had dysgraphia! If resources had been available, maybe I wouldn’t have spent so much time memorizing my textbooks in the library. Alas, I had to adapt. It was frustrating, and if given the chance, I’d have hunted the mammoth instead. Here’s the point of all this: We don’t know what we don’t know ! As a kid, I didn’t have the terminology to describe what I was going through. Even if I had, those teaching me probably wouldn’t know what to do with it. The modern age is no different; we discover more and more daily how the brain works, and tomorrow’s kids will run into their own difficulties. I can’t go back and tell my teachers they should be more patient or tell the other kids not to be cruel. What we can do now, however, is look back and realize how much more kind we could be. People with dyslexia may feel they are running with lead boots but should realize they can also be highly gifted and bring insights into our world that others would never even dream of or consider! Those lead boots they feel they may be wearing when they are young might end up running circles around others once they’ve identified their unique strengths. October is Dyslexia Awareness Month , and, well, now you’re aware. If dyslexia, or having any disability, sounds like something that you, or someone in your life, has experienced, resources are available to help! More to the point, we can develop a sense of empathy in ourselves; my teachers didn’t know what I was going through. My family didn’t know what I was going through. I didn’t understand why I was different. We don’t know what someone else is suffering from, either. We can (and definitely should) approach the problems that our kids (or adolescents, adults, or older people) face with kindness, support, and understanding. We can be kind and patient to ourselves, and talking to people can help us better understand ourselves and the resources and support available.  Community matters, and some people and resources can help. We may be unable to remove the lead boots, but we can help each other keep up in the race . Some resources: https://dyslexiaida.org What is dyslexia? - British Dyslexia Association ( bdadyslexia.org.uk ) What is Dyslexia? - Yale Dyslexia Dyslexia | National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke ( nih.gov ) Understanding Dyslexia (for Teens) - Nemours KidsHealth Dyslexia (for Kids) - Nemours KidsHealth Understanding Dyslexia (for Parents) - Nemours KidsHealth Dyslexia - Better Health Channel What Is Dyslexia? What Causes It? ( webmd.com ) What is Dyslexia? | Dyslexia Help at the University of Michigan ( umich.edu ) Famous Dyslexic Entrepreneurs: 10 Business Leaders Who Overcame Dyslexia - LDRFA Do you have dyslexia? Then you’re just one of some other famous people who have it. :) Albert Einstein (Physicist) Steven Spielberg, Guy Ritchie (Film Directors, Screenwriters, Producers) Jennifer Aniston, Salma Hayek, Keira Knightley, Ann Bancroft, Lindsay Wagner (Actresses) Caryn Johnson (is Whoopi Goldberg, actress, comedian, author, TV personality) Tom Holland, Tom Cruise, Orlando Bloom, Henry Winkler, Patrick Dempsey, Sir Anthony Hopkins, Steve McQueen, Lee Marvin, Keanu Reeves, Mark Ruffalo (actors) Gavin Newsome (Governor of California) Jim Carrey, Jay Leno, Robin Williams (Actors, comedians) Pete Conrad (Astronaut) Erin Brockovich (Lawyer, Advocate) Scott Sonnon (Martial Arts World Champion, Author) Greg Luganis (Olympic Diver) Ted Turner (Media, Entrepreneur, TV producer) Anderson Cooper (TV show host) Muhammad Ali (Boxer) Charles Schwab (Financial investor) Cher (Singer, songwriter, actress) Leonardo da Vinci (Artist and Polymath) Tommy Hilfiger (Fashion designer) Walt Disney (Animator, entrepreneur) Pele (Soccer Star) Bill Gates, Steve Jobs (Tech giants, entrepreneurs) Thomas Edison (Inventor) Magic Johnson (Basketball Star) Henry Ford (Automotive manufacturing giant) Agatha Christie (Writer, Author) Jamie Oliver (British Chef) Richard Branson (Entrepreneur, owns 400+ companies, Virgin Airlines) Ingrav Kamprad (Founder, IKEA) William Hewlett (Co-founder of Hewlett-Packard) Orville & Wilbur Wright (Brothers, Inventors of the first manned airplane) Lewis Hamilton (Professional racecar driver) Ben Fogle (British broadcaster) Ozzie Osbourne, Carly Simon, Gwen Stefani, Tina Turner (Musicians, Songwriters) Molly King (British singer, songwriter, actress) Read some of their famous quotes: Inspirational Quotes by Famous People with Learning Disabilities - LDRFA October is also “ ADHD Awareness Month ” and “ Mental Health” Month ; but we need to address and learn as much as possible about the ways our brains work, mental health, and physical health every day. It makes us who we are and it's important to understand how we think. Clifton Fuller is a licensed professional in the state of Texas, as well as a Life and Relationship coach helping people worldwide. He's also dyslexic and has dysgraphia, loves life, is always learning, and continues to be amazed at the way our brains are wired and how our physical self impacts our mental self. He no longer feels like he is a turnkey, or is running in lead boots, but has learned how his disabilities helped him become stronger in ways he'd never expected. “Those with dyslexia may feel as if they are running in lead boots compared to other students but should realize they can also be highly gifted people whose brains work differently. Because of that, they bring insights into our world that others would never even dream of or consider!” Clifton Fuller (Dyslexic, Author, Happy Husband, Father, Grandfather) This dyslexic guy has written multiple books to help others struggling in life. Note: Clifton is the author of “ The Marriage Vampire ” (dealing with narcissistic personalities), available on Amazon, and "The Narcissist: When Dreams Become Nightmares." “Creativity is the key for any child with dyslexia, or for anyone for that matter. Then you can think outside of the box. Teach them anything is attainable. Let them run with what you see is whatever they need to run with. Dyslexia is not due to a lack of intelligence, it’s a lack of access. It’s like, if you’re dyslexic, you have all the information you need, but find it harder to process.” (Orlando Bloom, Dyslexic, Actor) ”You can’t stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh. I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe you’re not the best, so you should work a little harder.” (Jay Leno, Dyslexic, Comedian) “My attitude has always been, if you fall flat on your face, at least you’re moving forward. All you have to do is get back up and try again. My interest in life comes from setting myself huge, apparently unachievable challenges and trying to rise above them.“ (Richard Branson, Dyslexic, Entrepreneur, Author, Business Investor). “I didn’t succeed despite my dyslexia, but because of it. It wasn’t my deficit, but my advantage. Although there are neurological trade-offs that require that I work creatively [and] smarter in reading, writing and speaking, I would never wish to be any other way than my awesome self. I love being me, regardless of the early challenges I had faced.” (Scott Sonnon, Dyslexic, Martial Arts World Champion, Author) “You don’t have any idea how powerful you are and what you can achieve.  You literally cannot give in to your fear.  You literally have got to walk over it, step on its face, and keep moving toward where you want to go and eventually, if I can get there, there’s no reason you can’t get there.” (Henry Winkler, "The Fonz", Dyslexic, actor, producer, director, author, comedian)