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Time is life. How we manage our time has a direct impact on our lives. How we spend our time can increase the quality and happiness of life. “The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.” (Michael Altshuler) Most of us have busy lives and have to juggle the time we have. Managing our time as effectively as possible creates less stress and happier days. Everyone's life is busy. The more responsibilities we juggle (whether work, family, church, friends, home, vehicle care, medical or dental appointments, etc.), the less time we seem to have to relax and the more stressed we become. Having working systems in place supports clearer thinking and smoother days, while disorganization increases mental load and makes it harder to stay on track. Organizing our time effectively helps us focus, discard unnecessary distractions, discover the best path to achieve our goals and find time for what we consider to be important in life. Disorganization steals our time (life)...inch by inch, minutes by minute. Who hasn't become really frustrated when they couldn't find car keys, a sock or shoe, or that favorite shirt because it's not where it's supposed to be? That's why it's important to develop habits and plan systems that make our life better. “A plan is what, a schedule is when. It takes both a plan and a schedule to get things done.” (Peter Turla) I am not a techie type of person at all, yet I have realized that using automation to my advantage has saved me valuable time that I was able to use for more important things in my life! I like what Michael Hyatt says, “Automation is solving the problem once and then putting it on autopilot.” I had two personal experiences that made me realize how important the concepts of setting things up once to work effectively long-term unexpectedly became in my life. The first was when I was in grad school. My wife and I were so busy, juggling studies, young children, jobs, finances, activities, and just daily living. Our day started out hectic, and by the time the evening rolled around, we were both exhausted. We decided we needed to look for ways to simplify and organize our lives and gain some control of our time back. We needed to find ways to have time together, time relaxing with our kids, and time to be with friends we hadn't had time to be with for months. We wanted peace and the ability to relax. It was right after that decision that some friends invited us to go to a meeting with them about building financial security in life. We were stretched financially due to grad college costs and wondered if anything we might learn would benefit us. But the speakers at the conference were major financial gurus, and we happily accepted the invitation, using it as excuse to take a break from our busy schedule and possibly learn something valuable. That decision to attend that conference was life changing. One of the speakers was a man, unknown to us at the time. His name was David Bach. His presentation inspired us. He offered attendees a special pricing for his book, "The Automatic Millionaire". We bought it, took the book home to read, and immediately began to apply its 'automatic' recommendations. We began to test the truth of what he said to see if the ideas actually worked as easily as he indicated. They did. In Bach's book, he shares simple and practical advice on ways to automatically set up systems to financially plan, pay bills (easier and earlier than expected), and how automation (setting up a system once and then letting it run automatically) saves valuable time and money. He stated that, "The secret is a timeless system and tiny changes that produce results. You don't need to make a lot of money, a budget, willpower, or be that interested in money. You set your plan up in less than an hour. The plan works automatically---while you sleep." What he said was true and he became a hero to us as we began to gain more control of our lives and more time. We realized a lot of our time spent had been on distractions because we didn't have a focused plan that we only did once. As we began to discover success, and joy, in setting up other one-time systems he recommended, we began to think about applying his recommendations in other aspects of our life to test them out there, as well. What we discovered was that using automation could be a great time saver, lessened our stress, and just made our lives easier and more manageable. We began to have 'free time' and we loved it! Online counseling allowed clients to see professionals even if unable to travel or limited on time. The second example experience with automation occurred when the Covid pandemic hit. Suddenly, clients were unable to come to my office, some became ill but still needed counseling, and my physician said to 'get out of the office before you're exposed to this Covid stuff that we know so little about'. Adjusting to what was going on due to the pandemic was a harsh situation to find myself in, as it was for the world. As I mentioned, I am not a techie type of person. If something electronic (phone, computer, TV, etc.) doesn't 'work', I call my grandkids or sons for help, so the idea of seeing clients via computer was terrifying to me. Covid forced me to do that, however. What I unexpectedly discovered was that by moving to a secure online system (with automated intakes, payment systems, logins, and scheduling) that change allowed me to continue to help my clients even if I could not be with them in-person in my office. Clients continued to gain strength mentally and physically even during Covid when our offices had to be closed. I was surprised to discover that not driving back and forth to my office saved time. My time during the day was better managed. I suddenly had a lot more 'free time' within my week and it took a while to realize where that time had come from. I began having more time to spend with my wife. We began to take daily walks together outside, which we hadn't done in years. This newfound time was spent in new ways that I enjoyed. Even after Covid passed, when I planned to go back to my office, when I surveyed them, over 97 percent of my clients said they wanted to continue scheduling appointments online due to the time they saved, travel to and from my office, childcare, and cost savings. I was surprised but also comfortable providing online services by then, and my life changed positively in ways I hadn't expected. I was able to offer services to those who had difficulty traveling, getting to my office due to distance or circumstances, or who were juggling life around children or job. Clients from all over Texas, many of whom lived in rural areas and had been unable previously to seek care as there were no local counselors in their town, suddenly had access to needed care. The 'brick walls' came tumbling down and access to online offices became open to a wider range of people. Why am I telling you this? Because the same automation principles apply to setting up dedicated appointments, whether with a counselor, physician dentist...or numerous other groups, events, or professionals. What is the real importance of dedicated appointments? The #1 benefit is that it saves time! It is done once and then easily adjusted if needed. In today's hectic life patterns, even a few adjustments or changes can make a big difference in decreasing the 'to-do list' overload. The time you save doesn't have to be filled with new things to do but instead can be used to relax, taking time for yourself, or others, you enjoy being with. Keeping a steady rhythm in counseling means you’re not juggling calendars or squeezing in last‑minute openings, which naturally saves time and keeps therapy from becoming another task on your plate. It stops the 'crisis to crisis' appointment scheduling, laying the groundwork for steadier, proactive progress, rather than reactive crisis situations that cause stress and increase agitation. It takes the mental load (and distraction) out of “figuring out when to go,” making it easier to stay committed and show up with a clearer head. Dedicated appointments save scheduling time and increase success addressing life issues. And because consistent sessions help you maintain momentum — rather than restarting or losing ground — you end up using your time and money more efficiently while building real progress in a way that feels calm, steady, and doable. A ‘dedicated appointment’ provides opportunity for a patient to reserve a specific time to schedule their recurring appointments at a specific time, whether weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly. That time is then reserved for you and removed as an available time for others. When they login to their patient portals, they have clear choices and understand what is available, as well. Recurring appointments allow you to focus on accomplishing counseling goals and find appointments at regular meeting times that work best in your schedule. Clients who set up dedicated appointments are more likely to resolve issues permanently and be in counseling for briefer periods of time. They tend to be positively focused on finding insights, tools and incorporating permanent resolution skills into their lives. There are basically four reasons to schedule dedicated appointments: It saves time to schedule once for multiple recurring sessions. For example: rather than logging in six times to schedule six appointments, log in once and schedule six appointments (for weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly time slots) at one log-in. Clients or businesses may need specific appointment times due to family or job demands. Clients become highly focused and dedicated to addressing life or work issues with intention. It helps organize a client’s or their family’s schedule more effectively. Everyone knows the time and day of a dedicated appointment and knows to schedule around it if other activities arise. Here's other ways it helps:­­­­­­­­­­­­­­ Families with children don’t want children to miss school or they need evening appointments. Some want personal appointments when their children are in school during the day. Some professionals want appointments after work to avoid interfering with their work. In contrast, other professionals prefer counseling during lunch breaks, so it doesn’t impact their work or time in the evening with their families. Clifton schedules his lunch later in the day at 2 pm to meet the needs of these professionals. Some individuals need or prefer morning or afternoon appointments. Businesses that schedule dedicated consulting appointments usually address work-related issues for their employees or managers. They want to schedule these at times that work in their business group. Call us at 210-970-1511 for more information or assistance scheduling dedicated appointments.

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Unlinked articles will be active and available once a blog article is uploaded to the Blog list Abuse: Children Abuse: Children: Resources Abuse Prevention: Children's 10 Rights Abuse: Emotional Abuse: Physical Abused Women (Battered Women, Domestic Violence) Abusive Relationships ADD & ADHD (Attention Deficit Disorder and ADD+Hyperactivity) Addictions (General overview) Addictions: Compulsive Behaviors Addictions: Drug or Alcohol Addictions: Internet Addictions: Pornography Addictions: Sexual Addictions: Shopping Adolescents Adult Children of Abusers Adult Children of Alcoholics Agoraphobia AI Therapy: Risks and Warnings Alzheimer's Anger Management Anxiety: Athletic Performance Anxiety: Free floating Anxiety: Generalize Anxiety Disorder Anxiety: Introduction Anxiety: Social Anxiety & Phobias Anxiety: Stress-Phobias Asperger's Syndrome Attachment Disorder: Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) Autism Autism & Asperger (Similarities & Differences) Bereavement & Grief Bipolar Disorder Books Inspire! 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Successful entrepreneurs need a plan, need to be able to adjust if needed changes are needed, and be willing to accept the initial ups and downs of establishing a business. Did you know? "Too often entrepreneurs are reactive to the challenges inherent when building a company... the most successful founders are proactive.” Ziad K. Abdelnour An entrepreneur is defined as ‘one who organizes, manages, and assumes the risks of a business or enterprise’. (Merriam Webster Dictionary) Entrepreneurs are a special type of people. They tend to be highly creative, willing to take work hard and take higher level of risks to bring an idea, concept or business to life. Let’s talk about the Entrepreneur spirit.    Entrepreneurs want to make a difference, are willing to take a risk, and are willing to bet on themselves. They dream they will succeed, are willing to work toward that dream, and envision their efforts working out as planned. The entrepreneur's mentality may be more risk-taking than others. The problem is that the higher the risk, the more likely a venture will experience unexpected difficulties or outright failure.  Recognize that some highly risky ventures have been wildly successful and changed our world.  All envision landing on the wildly successful side but must also recognize that they are establishing real businesses and enterprises and must look at those ventures seriously and realistically to be successful. Entrepreneur Mental Preparedness: Entrepreneurs must be prepared mentally to deal with the hardship, adversities, and possibility of an unsuccessful venture. Entrepreneurs must also understand that IF they experience a failed venture, it does not mean they are a failure. It also does not mean that the venture will not be successful in the future, if redesigned, adapted, or the ‘time is right’. “Educationists should build the capacities of the spirit of inquiry, creativity, entrepreneurial and moral leadership among students and become their role model.” A. P. J. Abdul Kalam Entrepreneur’s vision of themselves: When a person begins to see themselves as entrepreneurs, that conceptualization becomes one of the ways they define themselves. We learn, in our culture, to define ourselves by what we do for a living. When we meet others, they first ask us our name, and then immediately ask us what we do for a living. Often our self-worth is tied to how successful we are, not how brave, or how happy we are in our business. When things are going well, it is much easier to be optimistic, confident, and proud of our calling. When things go wrong, it is a lot harder to feel those same emotions! Fear of failure is an emotional roadblock There are roadblocks for entrepreneurs.  One roadblock is fear of failure. Entrepreneurs must be able to successfully address this powerful emotion. To be an entrepreneur, we must come to terms with any powerful roadblock that may impede our success and happiness…and learn to address it effectively and we must battle the fear of failure when we even begin to decide we will become an entrepreneur in the first place, recognizing we will give up security in order to ‘go for our dream’.  It is surprising, but for some entrepreneurs, even if things go well, we may become ‘stuck’, fearing loss of what has been gained.  We must continue to maintain a brave mindset, keep focused on moving forward, growing our business, and searching for new opportunities.  This may, in turn, be highly energizing to us and even open new creative ideas and paths. Caring for yourself is preventative maintenance that helps you work better and last longer. Entrepreneurs are the cutting-edge thinkers, the movers and shakers, the creative forces that make all our lives and this world a better place. Entrepreneurs need to learn to take care of themselves, both mentally and physically; the world really needs you! Your body has a response to stress. The body's response to stress and change is to give our bodies a shot of an enzyme called cortisol. We used to call it adrenaline.  This chemical creates the ‘fight or flight’ response. It tells our body to get ready to run or to physically attack the threat. It affects every part of our body. It dilates the eyes, increases heart rate, makes breathing more rapid and shallow, tightens all the muscles, dumps acid into the stomach, and takes blood from extremities (hands and feet) and puts it into your brain and internal organs.  This response is great…if a saber tooth tiger is trying to tear your arm off but is a little value in an economic disruption. If we cannot physically fight or run, we may begin to feel anxious. Anxiety leads to ruminating thoughts about whatever you fear and only serves to make you more tense. Since the anxiety is keeping the body ‘revved’ up, it causes fatigue and wears out the body.  It is like constantly pushing a gas pedal on a car while the car is in park.  Anxiety may feel like we are doing something, but it gets us nowhere, wasting fuel (energy) and preventing us from moving forward.  It can physically wear us out and makes us physically exhausted.  This leads to both physical and mental fatigue. Fatigue is the number one cause of depression. We must not let our emotions destroy our ability to respond effectively to our environment.  Learn to interrupt the fight or flight response. Breathe deeply, relax your muscles, focus on the things you can control, not the things you cannot control.  We can all control our breathing, slowing it down and taking deep breaths.  It is the basis of all relaxation techniques and something every entrepreneur should learn…and practice! Move your muscles!  Exercising your big muscles, your arms and legs will relieve tension in your body. Plan (& write it down!) specific times you will schedule to walk (does not have to be fast), swim, jog or do other aerobic exercises for 30 minutes daily. Start gradually.  You will have to work up to 30 minutes.  5 minutes is better than nothing, and gradually build up strength, breathing and stamina.  Build up your routine to work out at least 3 times a week, with your eventual goal to exercise daily.  You are not trying to run a marathon on the first day; this is moderate exercise to get your body in an aerobic zone.  Keep both your body and mind strong and working together. An exercise routine is much easier over time and may even become something you eventually enjoy. Start slowly, gradually add another day, or increase time or distance, and pace yourself in order to prevent injury.  Check with your physician for advice, and you’ll find they will be thrilled you are taking a step toward better physical health in order to lead to better mental health. By exercising, your body will begin to release serotonin (your body’s ‘natural antidepressant’) and dopamine (the ‘feel good chemical’ in your brain). This is the best way to fight anxiety and depression! Pay attention to your sleep patterns.  If you do not sleep well (at least six hours a night), you will wake up tired, begin to run yourself down, and may become depressed. In fact, a sleep disturbance is frequently the first sign of depression. Do not underestimate the benefits of sound sleep!  This is when your brain sorts through the day’s events, files what is important and tries to ‘connect the dots’.  You may even wake up with a new idea or a solution to a problem by ‘sleeping on it’.   Monitor if you are experiencing one of the following sleep interrupted patterns: 1. Have difficulty falling asleep 2. Be able to fall asleep but wake up several times a night 3. Fall asleep, wake up and not be able to go back to sleep 4. Sleep too much and still feel tired. Watch for any departure from your normal sleep pattern. The medical profession recommends 8-9 hours of sleep nightly. No one can force themselves to sleep! In fact, the best thing you can do to help yourself sleep is regular aerobic exercise.  It is a waste of energy. Accept reality. You may feel like you are doing something by concentrating or focusing on your past mistakes, but you may be ruminating if you are doing nothing about it. You can think all day about the big hold in the roof, but if you do not take action, you will get wet every time it rains. Do something about it! Don’t just think about it. You cannot undo the past, so do not let it become the heavy boulder you carry around on your back (or in your head) that reminds you that you made a mistake. Many of us attack ourselves when things go wrong, as if we caused the problem. This is of no value. We are all human. We all make mistakes. Rather than being bad people or failures, we are instead good ‘people who make mistakes’, capable people who cannot do everything, and smart people who do not know all the answers. We are not dirty rotten idiots who cannot do anything right. Thinking negatively only makes us feel hopeless…and blocks our ability to move forward. Do not play the ‘blame game’!  People tend to go back to try to figure out whose ‘fault’ it is if things go wrong.  Don’t go there.  Accept that it did not work out as you wanted. Do something constructive and move forward. Find out what is really going on and recognize that it will take time and effort to make that assessment. Do you understand, or recognize, what the problem is? What effect will it have on you and your business? What are steps you can take to address it? Organization always beats disorganization. If your plan does not work, adjust it.  These adjustments may be simple or may involve many steps of revision, analysis, and re-revision again.  You may have to take a loss. You may have to accept defeat. Most of us hang on until we have borrowed every dime we can get, work ourselves into the ground, and have to be pulled, kicking in screaming, away from our venture before we are willing to consider that things might not work out. Many of the people who died on the titanic, died because they refused to get into the lifeboats until the boat was already at 45° angle.  You may have to take a loss. You may have to accept defeat. Most of us hang on until we have borrowed every dime we can get, work ourselves into the ground, and have to be pulled, kicking in screaming, away from our venture before we are willing to consider that things might not work out. Many of the people who died on the titanic, died because they refused to get into the lifeboats until the ship was already at 45° angle. I always loved the song by Kenny Rogers, “The Gambler”.  “You’ve got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away and know when to run!”  Entrepreneurs need to know when it is time to play their hand and when it is time to move on.   Crisis brings about change, and change brings opportunity. Automobiles ruined the horse & buggy business, but it did wonders for the gasoline industry.  Buying online can be highly lucrative, everyone is now using Zoom, Uber & your local grocery story now delivers meals, people who never bought anything online are now buying everything online.  As things change, look for opportunities!  It is hard to sell ice cream in the winter or hot chocolate in the summer. During the 2020 pandemic, when bars were closed, distilleries began selling hand sanitizer (as it is 80% alcohol).  They saved their businesses by thinking outside of the box and adjusting quickly to the out-of-their-control situation that they were facing.  Trust me, those same bars went back in business just as quickly as things safely changed back again. Talk about your feelings.  It really does help.  I know it does. It is how I make my living.  I see daily evidence and know, both as a professional and personally, how important talking is to help people process information, make important changes in life, and obtain support they need.  I personally sought help from friends, family, and mentors when I was making my 2nd business attempt. Talking with other caring people and having their insights and wisdom, is what made the difference in my initial failure and my eventual success. Talking to others may require that you show some vulnerability as you ask for help or assistance, but it also opens opportunity to form a bond, help you realize you’re not the only one out there struggling, may open doors to network, and allows you to grow professionally. If your mental health is suffering, if things have ‘gone too far’, if anxiety or depression have reduced your ability to think and function effectively, it is important that you recognize that and seek professional help…and last, but definitely not least: Seek professional help if needed. Do not wait until you ‘completely burnt out’! There are excellent medications to address anxiety and depression. Consider seeking help as the gift you give yourself to fight another day!  Sometimes a counseling professional will help you focus, see other options to success or help you identify the ‘root causes’ of your anxiety or stress. Once identified, and addressed effectively, it can be the help you need to move forward again. Caring for yourself is preventative maintenance that helps you work better and last longer. “I work with entrepreneurs starting new businesses, family-owned businesses, the self-employed, and executives who are navigating the process of maintaining, transitioning, or growing a business. Whether experiencing conflicts within a business, employer-employee issues, business growth issues, or loss, many business professionals experience a higher level of stress and anxiety. If those issues are addressed effectively, success and satisfaction increase.” - Clifton Fuller”

Embarking on a journey of healing and personal growth can feel both exciting and a little daunting. If you’re considering Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy but prefer the comfort and convenience of your own space, online EMDR sessions might be just what you need. I want to walk you through what to expect during these sessions, so you feel confident and prepared every step of the way. EMDR is a powerful therapy designed to help process and heal from traumatic experiences, anxiety, and other emotional challenges. But how does it work when done online? Let’s dive into the details together. What Is Online EMDR? An Online EMDR Session Overview First, let’s clarify what online EMDR looks like. Instead of sitting across from your therapist in a cozy office, you connect through a secure video platform. This setup allows you to engage in the same therapeutic process without leaving your home. You might wonder, “Can this really be as effective as in-person therapy?” The answer is yes, with the right preparation and guidance. During an online EMDR session, your therapist will guide you through the eight phases of EMDR therapy, including history taking, preparation, assessment, desensitization, installation, body scan, closure, and reevaluation. The key difference is how bilateral stimulation (BLS) is delivered. Instead of tapping or hand movements, you might use visual cues on the screen, auditory tones, or even tactile devices you can use at home. This flexibility means you can receive therapy that fits your lifestyle, whether you’re balancing work, family, or other commitments. Plus, it opens doors for those who live far from specialized therapists or have mobility challenges. Eye-level view of a laptop on a desk with a calm home office setup Preparing for Your First Online EMDR Session Preparation is essential to make your online EMDR experience smooth and effective. Here’s what I recommend: Choose a quiet, private space: Find a spot where you won’t be interrupted. This helps you focus and feel safe. Test your technology: Make sure your internet connection is stable, and your camera and microphone work well. Gather any materials: Your therapist might suggest items like headphones, a comfortable chair, or a tactile device for bilateral stimulation. Set realistic expectations: EMDR can bring up strong emotions. It’s okay to feel vulnerable. Your therapist will support you throughout. Before your session, your therapist will likely spend time getting to know you and your history. This foundation is crucial for tailoring the therapy to your unique needs. What Happens During an Online EMDR Session? Now, let’s walk through a typical online EMDR session. Imagine you’re settling into your chosen space, logging into your video call, and greeting your therapist. Here’s what usually happens next: Check-in: Your therapist will ask how you’re feeling and if anything significant has happened since your last session. Review goals: You’ll discuss what you want to work on, whether it’s a specific memory, anxiety, or another issue. Bilateral stimulation: This is the heart of EMDR. Your therapist will guide you through eye movements, sounds, or taps designed to help your brain process distressing memories. Processing: You’ll notice thoughts, feelings, or images coming up. Your therapist will help you navigate these safely. Closure: The session ends with grounding techniques to ensure you feel stable and calm. Throughout, your therapist will check in regularly to make sure you’re comfortable and supported. Close-up view of a computer screen showing a video call with a therapist Tips for Making the Most of Your Online EMDR Experience To get the best out of your online EMDR sessions, consider these practical tips: Be honest and open: Share your feelings and reactions with your therapist. This helps them adjust the session to your needs. Practice self-care: After sessions, give yourself time to rest, journal, or engage in calming activities. Stay consistent: Regular sessions build momentum and deepen healing. Prepare for emotions: It’s normal to feel tired or emotional after EMDR. Plan your schedule to allow downtime. Communicate technical issues: If you experience glitches, let your therapist know immediately so they can help. Remember, therapy is a partnership. Your active participation and feedback are vital. Embracing Growth Through Online EMDR Online EMDR sessions offer a unique blend of accessibility and effectiveness. They empower you to take control of your healing journey from wherever you feel safest. Whether you’re working through past trauma, managing anxiety, or seeking personal growth, this approach can be a transformative tool. If you’re curious about what to expect from online EMDR, know that it’s a process filled with support, understanding, and hope. You’re not alone on this path. By embracing this modern way of therapy, you’re opening doors to new possibilities. Healing is within reach, and every session brings you closer to the peace and resilience you deserve. Moving Forward with Confidence and Compassion Starting online EMDR might feel like stepping into the unknown, but it’s a brave and empowering choice. With the right therapist and preparation, you’ll find a safe space to explore your inner world and unlock healing. Remember, growth is not a straight line. There will be ups and downs, but each step is progress. Trust the process, be gentle with yourself, and celebrate your courage. If you’re ready to begin or deepen your journey, online EMDR sessions can be a powerful companion. You have the strength to face your challenges and the support to thrive. Here’s to your healing and growth - one session at a time.

Encouraging On-going Professional Growth for Supervisees To those of us who began our training to become therapists, at the start of our journey, we all had to overcome fears that we won't know the 'right thing' or what to say or the words that will 'fix' our clients' concerns. At some point, time makes us aware it is not just our 'toolboxes', skills, or techniques that help our clients, it is an ability to listen...to show compassion and understanding. It is also our belief that even if change is difficult, all people have the power to change! We all have the ability to find healing when given insights, direction, and encouragement. This page is intended to offer links to those seeking LCSW supervision, LPC supervision, or LMFT supervision; those counseling and therapy interns who will become the healthcare professionals of the future. This page includes links, videos, and information to help you on your journey toward licensure and your practice. Good news is that new information will also be added monthly! Clifton Fuller supervises LMFT, LPC, and LCSW supervisee interns, and even if you are not one of his supervisees, he believes the following free articles, videos, and newsletters can be of benefit and knowledge for anyone entering the counseling profession. Need information on a particular issue? Let him know and you may see a future article on that topic, an addition to this page, or an article in his monthly newsletter. Subscribe! Subscribe to Clifton Fuller's free monthly newsletter (includes a monthly article for supervisees). Read Blogs! NEWSLETTERS Each month includes an article, specifically for Supervisees, in a section entitled "Learning the Craft". January 2026: Fresh Starts ("Mentoring the Future's Mental Health Professionals") February 2026: Let Love Blossom ("Recognizing Client Expectations in Communication") March 2026: Move Forward in Life with Purpose ("Supervision is a Step Forward in Life & Career. What's Next?") April 2026: Effective Stress Management (Coming Soon! Register to receive more quickly!) May 2026: June 2026: July 2026: August 2026: September 2026: October 2026: November 2026: December 2026

Consistent therapy produces results. Consistent therapy, life coaching, and clinical supervision offer steady support that strengthens emotional well‑being, personal growth, and professional development. Regular sessions help you build resilience, deepen self‑awareness, and create lasting change. This article explores why ongoing support is one of the most effective investments you can make in your mental health. Consistency is one of the most underrated ingredients in emotional well‑being. Many people seek therapy or coaching only when life feels overwhelming, relationships are strained, or stress becomes unmanageable. But the truth is that regular, ongoing support is where the real transformation happens . Just like physical health, emotional and mental health thrive with steady attention—not occasional crisis management. Organizations such as the National Alliance on Mental Illness ( https://www.nami.org )  emphasize that ongoing support plays a key role in maintaining emotional stability and preventing crises. When you show up consistently, you create space for deeper insight, stronger coping skills, and meaningful long‑term change. If you’ve ever wondered whether consistent therapy, coaching, or supervision is worth the investment, the answer is a resounding yes. 1. Consistency Creates Real, Measurable Progress Growth doesn’t happen in a single breakthrough moment. It happens through repeated insights, practiced skills, and small shifts that build on each other over time. When sessions are consistent, you’re not starting from scratch each visit—you’re building momentum. The American Counseling Association ( https://www.counseling.org )  notes that the therapeutic relationship deepens through regular contact, allowing clients to explore patterns more effectively and integrate new skills with greater confidence. Regular therapy or coaching helps you: Strengthen new habits Reinforce healthier thinking patterns Stay focused on your goals Prevent backsliding into old behaviors This steady progress is what turns temporary change into lasting transformation. 2. Build Emotional Skills That Improve Every Area of Life Therapy and coaching aren’t just conversations—they’re training. Over time, you develop tools that help you navigate challenges with more clarity and resilience. These skills often include: Emotional regulation Boundary‑setting Conflict resolution Stress management Healthier communication Self‑awareness and self‑compassion Research from the American Psychological Association ( https://www.apa.org )  shows that consistent therapeutic work leads to stronger long‑term outcomes because clients have time to practice and reinforce these skills between sessions. 3. A Consistent Relationship Creates Safety and Trust Deep, meaningful work requires trust—and trust takes time. When you meet regularly with a therapist or coach, you build a relationship where you feel safe enough to explore the deeper layers of your experience. Consistency allows you to: Open up more honestly Explore difficult emotions without fear Address issues as they arise Feel supported through life’s ups and downs A steady therapeutic relationship becomes a grounding point, especially during stressful seasons. 4. Catch Problems Early—Before They Become Crises Life doesn’t wait for a convenient moment to get complicated. Regular sessions act as a preventive tool, helping you address stress, conflict, or emotional strain before they escalate. Just like preventive healthcare, consistent therapy or coaching reduces the emotional and financial cost of waiting too long. 5. Accountability Helps You Stay on Track Whether you’re working on personal growth, relationship improvement, career goals, or emotional healing, accountability matters. Regular sessions help you stay aligned with your values and goals. You’re more likely to: Follow through on commitments Stay motivated Recognize progress Adjust strategies when needed Accountability isn’t pressure—it’s support that keeps you moving forward. 6. The Investment Pays Off in Every Area of Your Life It’s natural to consider the financial cost of therapy or coaching. But it’s also important to consider the cost of not  investing in your mental and emotional well‑being. Avoiding support often leads to: Prolonged stress Repeated relationship patterns Burnout Lost opportunities Emotional exhaustion When you invest in consistent support, you’re investing in: Healthier relationships Better decision‑making Increased resilience Greater self‑confidence A more peaceful, grounded daily life The return on investment shows up everywhere—your work, your family, your health, and your sense of self. Learn More About Clifton Fuller : To learn more about Clifton’s background, approach, and decades of experience supporting clients and clinicians, visit the ' about Clifton Fuller page '. FAQ: Consistent Therapy, Life Coaching, and Clinical Supervision How often should I attend therapy to see progress? Most people benefit from weekly or bi‑weekly sessions, especially when beginning therapy. Consistency helps you build momentum, deepen insight, and practice new skills between sessions. Over time, some clients shift to less frequent sessions as they gain stability and confidence. Why is consistent therapy more effective than occasional sessions? Consistent therapy allows you to explore patterns, build trust, and make steady progress. When sessions are irregular, you often spend time “catching up” instead of moving forward. Regular support helps reinforce healthier habits and prevents old patterns from resurfacing. What are the benefits of ongoing life coaching? Life coaching provides structure, accountability, and clarity as you work toward personal or professional goals. Regular coaching sessions help you stay focused, adjust strategies, and maintain motivation—especially during stressful or transitional periods. How does clinical supervision help therapists grow? Clinical supervision offers guidance, ethical support, and skill development for therapists at any stage of their career. Consistent supervision helps clinicians strengthen their clinical judgment, improve client outcomes, and build confidence in their professional identity. Is consistent support worth the investment? Absolutely. Regular therapy, coaching, or supervision reduces stress, improves relationships, and supports long‑term emotional health. The benefits extend far beyond the session itself, influencing your daily life, work, and overall well‑being. Whether you’re seeking emotional support, personal growth, or guidance as a therapist strengthening your clinical skills, consistent, compassionate support is available. Schedule a counseling, coaching, or supervision session today. Current clients schedule an appointment.   New clients register, complete and intake, and schedule an appointment.   The Bottom Line: Consistency Creates Change Consistent therapy, life coaching, and clinical supervision provide the structure, support, and accountability needed for meaningful, long‑term change. Regular sessions help you build emotional resilience, strengthen relationships, and stay aligned with your goals. Investing in ongoing support is one of the most effective ways to improve your mental health and overall well‑being. You deserve support that helps you feel steady, confident, and aligned with who you want to become. Regular sessions help you build that life—one step at a time. Whether you’re seeking emotional support, personal growth, or guidance as a therapist building your clinical skills, consistent, compassionate support is here for you. Reach out now to schedule counseling, coaching, or supervision and move forward with confidence.

PTSD is often triggered by traumatic experiences in our past or things we've seen. I recently saw a news story where a young woman in a self-driving vehicle was helplessly trapped inside when two men decided to step in front of the vehicle to make the vehicle stop in an attempt to get the young woman to provide her phone number. She said the incident was unsettling, yet she had been looking forward to the development of driver-less vehicles because, " she has anxiety about driving due to a serious car accident as a child and has been looking forward to this kind of technology for years." Even though the story did point out issues of concern to address as we embrace new technology, what grabbed my attention was the part when she said she "has anxiety about driving due to a serious car accident as a child ." That, my friends, is what PTSD is and does to us. We will all suffer traumatic incidents in our lives. We will all handle some of those incidents effectively, while others have the ability to harm or impact us throughout life. Those who have been impacted by hurricanes, floods, tornados, fires, traumas or disasters will experience PTSD. And every time they see it happen again, even if in other countries, on TV or the internet, or to people they'll never know or meet, those memories resurface in their minds. When that happens, what will be the reaction? What mental tools will we put into place to protect ourselves? Will we reach out to help others? PTSD is a weight borne psychologically. It cripples our ability to move forward without anxiety and fear. It doesn't allow us to put things into perspective or balance. It's heavy on our minds and bodies, it affects our personalities, and it blocks us from living the full lives we should have opportunity to enjoy. It can also inspire us to help others who may be suffering from traumas. Having lived through a trauma may make us know more about how to get through it and help others recover who are going through similar traumas. We understand how they feel. PTSD is more common than people realize but the good news is that it can be addressed effectively through counseling, special types of therapy, or actions. Studies indicate that both humans and animals may suffer from PTSD. PTSD affects 30% of combat veterans, 33% of rape victims and 8 million people worldwide. Many suffered from PTSD during Covid and some of those people still don’t realize they continue to be impacted by PTSD. Others experience PTSD due to trauma they experienced as children, oftentimes hidden deep within their memories. Some, as adults, felt they should now be "strong enough to handle anxiety or fears" resulting from traumas. Oftentimes, we are socialized not to share or verbally express any weakness. That "tough guy" attitude translates into forcing us to try to internally handle PTSD in order not to appear weak or lacking a strong character. Did you know that animals can also suffer from PTSD? “Quite a few of the dogs that come back from Afghanistan or Iraq or police dogs that are involved in violent confrontations where there's gunfire can in fact exhibit the symptoms and suffer from PTSD.” (Robert Crais (American Author, writer) PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is described as: “psychological reaction occurring after experiencing a highly stressing event (such as wartime combat, physical violence, or a natural disaster) usually characterized by depression, anxiety, flashbacks, recurrent nightmares, and avoidance of reminders of the event —also called also  post-traumatic stress syndrome” (Merriam Webster Dictionary). You don't necessarily have to be a victim in a traumatic event, or even a witness in person to suffer from it. Repeated exposure (such as via TV or media impacted an entire generation of children who developed, and still have, free-floating childhood anxiety that has turned into free-floating adult anxiety, from witnessing repeated TV coverage of 9/11 or January 6th attacks. Adults, children, adolescents and the elderly currently still suffer from the trauma of Covid virus related PTSD, especially if they witnessed firsthand a death due to Covid or a difficult recovery. Most don’t even realize it but will suffer from the trauma for years to come unless they receive help or seek treatment to address the issue. The human brain is made to remember…not forget.   When a traumatic event is stored in our memory, it is installed with so much adrenalin, due to the fear experienced, that every time that memory is triggered, we don’t just recall the event, we “re-live” the terrifying emotions associated with the memory. By reliving the feelings related to that trauma, it reinforces the trauma and can make things even worse. Unexpected events, natural disasters, or things beyond our control make us believe we are in danger. In the mid-1970's, my wife and I lived through a tropical storm that stalled over the Texas Hill Country. The area had just been called a "National Drought Area" by the Texas governor, but then the tropical storm stalled over the area. It rained so fast and furiously that the earth could not absorb the water fast enough. The damage was intense. People had to be air-lifted out of the area as roads were washed away or inaccessible, we lost all electricity and phone services, the National Guard came in to protect people in the area, and looters suddenly appeared to further harm survivors by stealing whatever items of value they could find. We lost seven friends who drowned in the flooding, from a small child to elderly friends. That trauma so impacted my wife and I that we've never bought any home or property that didn't have a survey indicating it was built out of a 500-year flood plain range. We know trauma and were determined to learn how to address and understand what we'd lived through. The experience taught us to prepare for the future without obsessive mentalities, to understand no one is in control of everything in the world, and that we can recover from traumas, even if it is difficult or takes time to do so. Having others who support you can be vital in your recovery. PTSD and the Past: It’s not the person refusing to let go of the past, but the past refusing to let go of the person.” (Author unknown) Understanding PTSD When someone is living with PTSD, it can feel as if the traumatic event is still happening inside their body, even long after the danger has passed. Flashbacks, nightmares, and intrusive memories aren’t signs of weakness—they’re signs that the nervous system is still trying to make sense of something overwhelming. Many people describe it as being “hijacked” by their own mind at the worst possible moments. For loved ones watching this happen, it can be confusing, frustrating, or even frightening. You may see the person you care about suddenly shut down, pull away, or react intensely to something that seems small. None of this is intentional. PTSD is the brain’s attempt to protect itself, even when those protections no longer fit the situation. How PTSD Impacts Daily Life People with PTSD often begin avoiding things that reminds them of the trauma—places, conversations, situations, and even certain emotions. It’s not because they don’t want to heal; it’s because the feelings are so overwhelming they consider avoidance as a survival strategy. Sometimes they avoid sleep itself, fearing the nightmares that come with it. Others become hyperaware of their surroundings, scanning for danger even in safe places. A sudden noise, a shift in tone, a bright light, an unexpected movement, or a crowded room can trigger a surge of fear. Loved ones may notice an exaggerated startle response or a constant sense of tension, as if the person is bracing for something bad to happen...always on alert. Some people go numb, feeling disconnected from their own emotions. Others swing between agitation and withdrawal. Alcohol or substances may become a way to quiet the internal chaos, but these make the symptoms worse and increase impulsivity. And all of this affects relationships. Couples may argue more. Families may feel confused or shut out. Friends may not know how to help or respond. The person with PTSD may feel guilty for their impact on others, which only deepens their isolation. Support That Helps Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. Here are a few ways people can support their loved ones in meaningful, practical ways: A spouse learns to sit quietly beside their partner during a flashback , offering grounding by saying, “You’re here with me. You’re safe.” No pressure. No fixing. Just presence. A family creates a predictable evening routine  so their child feels calmer before bedtime—dim lights, soft music, a warm shower. Over time, sleep can become less frightening. A friend encourages small steps back into the world , like meeting at a quiet café instead of a crowded restaurant. They don’t push—they walk at the survivor’s pace. A couple attend therapy together , learning how triggers work and how to communicate during difficult moments. They learn how to feel like a team again, not two people on opposite sides of a problem. Small acts of understanding can make an enormous difference! Treatment: What Healing Can Look Like PTSD treatment takes courage. Therapists know this. The very things a survivor wants to avoid—reliving memories, emotions, or sensations are often the things therapy gently helps them face, at a pace that feels safe. Talk therapy, whether individual, family, or group, helps survivors understand their symptoms and regain a sense of control. Physician prescribed and reaction-monitored medications may ease anxiety, depression, or sleep problems, though they aren’t a cure on their own. Many people find significant relief through approaches like EMDR  or Neurofeedback to help the brain process trauma in ways that don’t require retelling or reliving every detail. These methods can reduce the intensity of triggers and help the nervous system settle. They can help an individual begin to 'let go' of the trauma and heal. If a person is a suitable subject for hypnotherapy, this may also be considered and may be effective with PTSD. There is no one-size-fits-all plan. The best treatment is personalized—built around the survivor’s history, needs, and strengths. Where People Find Help Support can come from many places: the VA (Veteran's Administration), rape crisis centers, trauma‑informed therapists, community clinics, and online resources. PTSD is also recognized as a disability when symptoms interfere with work, and financial support may be available. But the most powerful resource is often the support system surrounding the survivor—family, friends, faith communities, trusted coworkers. Healing is easier when someone feels believed, supported, and not alone. What PTSD Survivors Need Most Above all, they need hope. Not false reassurance, but the steady understanding that healing is possible. They need people who will walk beside them, not rush them. People who understand that PTSD is not a character flaw—it’s a wound. Lori Goodwin said it beautifully: “If you are here today, you are a survivor… Those of us who have made it through hell and are still standing? We bear a different name: warriors.” PTSD may change someone’s life, but it does not have to define their future. With support, treatment, and compassion—from themselves and from those who love them—healing becomes not just possible, but a reality. Don’t isolate! There is help to address PTSD. If you are suffering from PTSD, contact our offices (210-970-1511, CliftonFuller.com ) or a counselor with experience addressing PTSD. Additional Resources: PTSD: National Center for PTSD Home Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Resources | Symptoms, Treatment & Support Coping With Traumatic Events - National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) Mental Health America (MHA)    A leading nonprofit offering education, screening tools, and support for people managing mental health conditions, including PTSD. https://mhanational.org The Center for Victims of Torture (CVT)    Provides trauma‑informed care, healing resources, and advocacy for survivors of torture and severe trauma. https://www.cvt.org The Big Fix    Uses a one‑health, community‑based approach to support people and communities recovering from traumatic events. https://www.thebigfix.org The PTSD Alliance    A coalition of professional and advocacy organizations offering education and resources for individuals with PTSD and their loved ones. https://www.ptsdalliance.org National Center for PTSD (U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs)    The world’s leading research and educational resource for PTSD and traumatic stress. https://www.ptsd.va.gov PTSD : National Center for PTSD – Home Page   Provides evidence‑based treatments, self‑help tools, and trauma‑related education for survivors and families. https://www.ptsd.va.gov/index.asp World Health Organization (WHO) – Mental Health & Emergencies    Responds to the mental health needs of people affected by conflict, disaster, and humanitarian crises. https://www.who.int/teams/mental-health-and-substance-use/mental-health-and-emergencies  ( who.int in Bing) These organizations offer crisis support, trauma‑informed education, treatment guidance, and advocacy. Anyone affected by PTSD—survivors, families, or caregivers—can explore these sites to find local services, evidence‑based treatment options, and additional support.

Our offices will be offering five new Pinterest Boards with weekly posts on our site: Pinterest.com/CliftonFullerTherapy   Positivity inspires us to live happier, more contented lives. We get to choose every day what our mindset will be, and those choices become our life. The five boards will include: Mindset Matters! Inspiration & Positivity Communication is the bridge to any good relationship. Relationship Skills & Communication Emotional wellness and stress relief are taught skills that anyone can learn and build upon. Emotional Wellness & Stress Relief Narcissists: The wolves in sheep's clothing. Understanding NPD (narcissistic personalities) When life is unbalanced, it causes stress, unhappiness, and conflicted relationships. We can all learn ways to address those stressors, rebuild relationships, and take time for what is truly important. Work‑Life Balance for Professionals We hope these posts will inspire, encourage, and give you 'food for thought' during your week. We hope you enjoy our posts! And if there are specific topics you would like information about or to see us post, please let us know.

“You're always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.” – Diane Von Furstenberg Healthy self‑love and self‑care are not selfish. They are essential for emotional balance, mental clarity, physical health, and spiritual well‑being. You cannot care for others effectively if you never learn how to care for yourself. When you nurture your own needs wisely, you strengthen your ability to show up for the people who depend on you. Many people struggle with guilt around self‑care, believing it is “self‑centered” or indulgent. But true self‑love is not narcissism. It is recognizing your God‑given worth, honoring the life He entrusted to you, and treating yourself with the same compassion you freely offer others. Self‑love means appreciating your value, acknowledging your uniqueness, and understanding that you were created with purpose. It does not  mean elevating yourself above others, seeking constant validation, or becoming self‑obsessed. Instead, it opens the door to deeper, healthier relationships — because you are giving from a place of strength, not depletion. Self-care is simply recharging our bodies and minds. Batteries don’t last forever — they run low. When they do, we notice it immediately: phones stop working, flashlights go dark, toys won’t move, and computers shut down. We don’t blame the device; we simply recharge it. Self‑care works the same way. When our physical or mental energy runs low, it affects us and everyone around us. If the physical isn’t cared for, the mental often begins to struggle as well. When our bodies become fatigued, our minds often feel the impact. Pausing to recharge helps us function, shine, feel renewed, and move forward with strength. We’re at our best when we’re fully charged — self‑care is our battery recharge. Across every spiritual tradition, rest is honored as a sacred rhythm that restores the mind, body, and spirit. Taking time for yourself isn’t escape — it’s how you return to your inner peace and strength. Six Biblical Perspectives and Foundations for Healthy Self‑Care The Bible offers scriptures providing a balanced, grounded view of self‑care — one that honors God, respects others, and nurtures your own well‑being. Here are the six biblical principles already present in your original article, now with concise Scripture references: 1. Loving others includes loving yourself. “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark 12:31) 2. God calls us to meet our daily human needs. Jesus invites the weary to rest. (Matthew 11:28) 3. Isolation and self‑obsession are unhealthy extremes. We are called to humility and community. (Philippians 2:3–4; Hebrews 10:24–25) 4. Caring for your body honors God. Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. (1 Corinthians 6:19–20) 5. Guarding your heart is essential for emotional health. “Above all else, guard your heart.” (Proverbs 4:23) 6. Renewing your mind is part of spiritual self‑care. “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Romans 12:2) These verses show that self‑care is not selfish or indulgence — it is stewardship. Christians understand it is honoring the life God gave them so they can more effectively love others well. Spiritual and Interfaith Perspective on Self‑Care: While Christianity offers a strong foundation for healthy self‑care, many other spiritual traditions affirm similar truths. The message is accessible and a foundational belief for people of all backgrounds and belief systems. Judaism: The principle of Pikuach Nefesh  teaches that preserving life and well‑being is a sacred duty. Islam The concept of Amanah  views the body and life as a trust from God that must be cared for responsibly. Buddhism: Compassion toward oneself is seen as the foundation for compassion toward others. Hinduism Ahimsa  encourages non‑harm — including gentleness toward oneself. Psychology Research shows that self‑care reduces stress, improves emotional regulation, and strengthens relationships. Caring for yourself can be as simple as slowing down and letting joy find you right where you are. These perspectives all echo a shared truth: caring for yourself is not selfish — it is wise, grounding, and life‑giving. How Self‑Love Empowers You When you practice healthy self‑care, you create space for healing, growth, and emotional resilience. Loving yourself wisely: Frees you to move forward Strengthens your ability to care for others without expecting anything in return Helps you stay physically and mentally prepared for life’s demands Reduces stress and improves emotional stability Gives you permission to enjoy life and embrace joy Helps you forgive yourself and release unnecessary guilt Silences the inner critic that weighs you down Protects you from toxic relationships Allows you to rest without shame Encourages kindness toward yourself Reminds you not to compare yourself with others Motivates you to exercise, sleep, and eat well Builds confidence through positive self‑talk Helps you stand up for yourself with dignity and grace Self‑care is not indulgence — it is wisdom. Practical Ways to Practice Self‑Care Here are simple, meaningful steps you can begin today: 1. Create small moments of joy. Buy yourself flowers to brighten your home or desk, take a walk, listen to music, enjoy a quiet cup of coffee, enjoy a quiet time in nature. 2. Set gentle boundaries. Say “no” when needed. Protect your peace. 3. Speak kindly to yourself. Replace criticism with compassion. Encourage yourself the way you would encourage a friend. 4. Rest without guilt. Your body and mind need restoration. There are multiple Biblical scriptures that say Jesus broke away from the crowds to seek rest. Jesus also encouraged the crowds to rest (Mark 6:31 Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a change to eat, Jesus said to them, 'Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and rest.'" In Matthew 14:23, he "went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone.” Jesus rested. 5. Let go of past failures. Acknowledge mistakes, learn from them, and release the burden. 6. Surround yourself with uplifting people. Choose relationships that support your growth, not drain it. Make time for those who encourage, inspire, and love you. 7. Seek help when needed. Counseling is not weakness — it is courage. It is choosing healing over hiding. Wisdom from Others “Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.” – Louise Hay “People who love themselves don’t hurt other people.” – Dan Pearce “You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress.” – Sophia Bush “Having a simplified, uncluttered home is a form of self-care.” – Emma Scheib These reminders echo a timeless truth: when you care for yourself, you become more grounded, more compassionate, and more capable of loving others well. You Are Worth Caring For If you don’t love and care for yourself, it becomes harder to maintain your physical health, emotional stability, and meaningful relationships. Self‑care is not selfish — it is foundational. Your worth is not determined by others’ opinions, your past, or your performance. God sees your value clearly, even when you struggle to see it yourself. If He loves you, you can learn to love yourself too. An Invitation: If you are struggling with self‑care, self‑love, or self‑esteem, you don’t have to walk that journey alone. Our counseling services in Texas — and life coaching available nationwide — offer a safe, compassionate space to heal, grow, and rediscover your God‑given worth. You deserve support. You deserve peace. You deserve to feel whole.    Click below to explore counseling, life coaching, or supervision services and take your next step toward emotional and spiritual well‑being. Explore our Care Card Gift Cards, a powerful way to remind a friend, colleague, or loved one that they’re valued while giving them access to counseling, life coaching, communication‑skills development, or clinical supervision. Click here to learn more. Take a breath and relax! Your mind and body will thank you for it!

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." ~Leo Buscaglia Caring deeds (actions) build stronger relationships between couples, families, and in relationships. It is effective and has been used widely in marriage or family therapy as a catalyst for change in relationships that is long-term and, if used correctly, can become permanent. Caring is showing and expressing concern about, attentiveness to, or love to another person. Caring is all about having empathy, compassion, thoughtfulness, love toward another, awareness and understanding of another person's needs or desires. Caring is putting others above ourselves. It is basic teaching in many religions, " And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them," or "Love one another," or "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." When the eyes say one thing, and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on the language of the first. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Marriage therapists recognize how powerful this concept is and how it can transform lives! Many individuals came to counseling because they feel unloved. Couples have conflict because they don't feel the other partner cares about them. Children become bullies because they aren't taught to feel empathy or care about others. Caring, and finding ways to express it to others, is pivotal in relationships, parenting, family, work, and world interactions. Because there are so many ways to be caring in our lives, it can sometimes be overwhelming at first, but I encourage readers to take tiny steps to move to caring relationships...and discover big changes and increased life happiness and satisfaction. " Kind words elicit trust. Kind thoughts create depth. Kind deeds bring love. " ~Laozi One of the most powerful tools anyone has at their fingertips is the concept of "Caring Deeds" (actions, behaviors, words that show caring). We all need love and to know we are valued. I first learned about "Family Caring Days" while in grad school. Our professors taught us about skilled marriage therapists with concepts that the professors would recommend because the application of that specific concept had proven to be highly effective in marriage and family therapy. One such guru was Richard Stuart, author of Helping Couples Change , who introduced "family caring deeds" to prompt people to objectively list what caring meant to them in an effort to make desired or needed changes in relationships. Stuart's theory was that for the concept to work and become a needed change, two principles must be accepted by the parties participating. 1/Use the " as if " principle 2/Use the " change first " principle Don't fake it till you make it. Fake it till you become it. ~Ann Cuddy The "as if" principle states: "For growth and change to occur in families, each person must act as if the other members are interested in and committed to promoting relationship change and growth." The "as if" principle becomes the foundation for increasing positive interactions. When trust had been questioned and commitment doubted, this principle recommits each individual to the family system. It becomes an extremely positive statement, followed by measurable actions, that communicate to others in the family system that this person is determined and invested in making the needed changes. When that is communicated, trust grows stronger. The family system becomes more unified, increased satisfaction is felt by all involved, and conflict is reduced. "...as we fill our hearts with love by expressing love for others in thought, word, and deed ("acting as if" until we make it happen), that love can heal our own lives, help to solve our problems, and enable us to feel good about ourselves." ~John Templeton The "I will change first" principle takes it a step further, and deeper. Often, we wait for the "other person" to change first. We say this is because we want them to prove they are honestly invested in changing themselves. That "you change first and then I'll change" thinking undermines trust and negatively impacts the communication strengths that families or couples have in their power to obtain. It becomes a power struggle rather than a move toward improvement in communication and expressions of heartfelt caring among participants. The "change first" principle states: " To resolve differences in family relationships, all members must accept the responsibility for changing their own behavior first in order to promote growth and change in others. " When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too. ~Paulo Coelho The idea reflects the "process of reciprocal change" (i.e., shared, joint, mutual, returned change). It set the foundation that each family member must be, and is, willing to change his or her behavior, whether or not anybody else has done so. Caring deeds are agreements made between family members or spouses to do little things for each other that demonstrate caring, in the way the other person conceptualizes caring. Each family member, or partner, compiles a list of 6-8 actions he or she would like others in the family to do that they believe show caring.  " No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. " ~Aesop Each person makes their own list, writing their name at the top of their list. (Any list will do but click here for an easy pre-formed page that is easy to download, print, and make your list.) Each person's list should be at least six caring deeds listed by each person, but if more are desired by family members, 6-8 are a good starting point. Each family member should be able to and strive to easily do a minimum of 6 caring deeds daily toward every family member participating. There are four rules to listing our caring deeds. Just 4 rules to follow: Must be positive, specific, small (easily demonstrated daily), no recent conflict. They must be positive. They must be specific They must be "small" behaviors that can easily be demonstrated daily. They cannot be the subject of recent conflict. After each member has written their list of deeds (actions) they believe show caring to them, each list should be shared and discussed with the other. This is the time to ask questions about requests to have a clear understanding of the caring deed and its meaning and expectation by the person making the request. That person should state precisely what, when, and how he or she wants others to respond. To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others. ~Tony Robbins These requests, the family or partner's "caring deed agreement", are posted to serve as a reminder and acknowledgment of actions done for each person. Record each time a behavior is done by writing the first initial of the person and the day it was done. Only those receiving the caring behaviors should mark them on their caring deed page. The person doing the caring deed does not list her or her name by the caring deed; it is the person who receives the deed that acknowledges it. Encourage your partner or family members to add to the list at any time, always following the 4 rules above. Short-term caring actions, and writing them down to recognize and acknowledge them, can build powerful long-range trust, commitment, increased positivity and happiness, and deeper love in relationships in all couples and families. Begin doing Caring Deeds for a week, evaluate how it has changed you, add or revise your caring deeds list, and begin the second week. By writing your caring deeds, you are more likely to remember them, reinforce them, and be successful! Caring Deeds can change your life in some very positive ways! Give it a try. “Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.” ~Stephen Hawking Care Card Gift Cards Show Someone You Care! Every caring deed—big or small—has the power to support someone’s emotional well‑being and personal growth. If you’d like to help someone take a meaningful step toward healing, clarity, or confidence, consider sending a Care Card Gift Card. It can be used for counseling sessions, life coaching, professional consultations, communication‑skills development, or even clinical supervision for interns working toward licensure. It’s a thoughtful way to encourage emotional wellness, life improvement, and professional advancement—all in one meaningful gift. Click here for more information. Additional resources: Stuart, R. B. (1980). Helping couples change: A social learning approach to marital therapy . New York: Guilford Press.

Spring Into Growth: A Metaphorical Guide for Self-Growth and Personal Transformation. Spring is finally here—the season of renewal, sunshine, blooming flowers, and… an absolutely unreasonable amount of pollen. Let’s ignore that last part and focus on the good stuff. After a long stretch of difficult years, many of us are still shaking off the emotional frost. Growth doesn’t magically happen just because the calendar says it’s spring. We have to choose it. We have to cultivate it. And what better metaphor for self-growth and personal transformation than gardening? Now, I’m not a gardener. I can’t keep a plastic plant alive. My wife, however, has a garden and flowerbeds overflowing with vegetables, herbs, and flowers, so I’ve learned a thing or two from watching her work. I see her joy when the first seedlings appear, her preparation, and she tells me it takes her back to happy childhood memories with her siblings as they made mudpies outside in the hot summers. My goal isn’t to turn you into a master gardener—it’s to borrow the lessons gardening teaches us about patience, intention, and care. Plants transform from seeds, just as we transform when we have the right conditions, can thrive, and take care of ourselves, just as a gardener cares for their garden. So let’s walk through the Five Steps to Growing Your Best Self , garden-style. “Every seed holds a future, but only a plan turns that future into something real.” — J. Arden Step One: Plan the Plot Before you grab a shovel, slow down. Nothing grows well without a plan. Gardeners don’t toss a tomato into the dirt and hope for the best—they create an environment that the tomato needs to thrive. The same principle applies to our mental and emotional growth. Planning prevents mistakes and results in more predictable outcomes. What do you want to cultivate? Confidence? Empathy? Peace? Courage? Different goals require different conditions. Planning helps you visualize what you want and understand the environment you’ll need to support it. Write it down, sketch it out—whatever helps you clarify your intention. A goal becomes real when you can see it. Step Two: Prepare the Soil Prepare the soil. It is a foundation for success. Some plants need deep, rich soil. Some need alkaline soil while others thrive in acidic soil. Some need raised beds. Some need space to stretch their roots. Once you decide what you want to grow, you have to prepare the environment that will support it. In real life, that means: Managing your schedule Making time for your goals Decluttering your space Removing distractions, unhealthy influences, or unhelpful habits Rebuilding routines that support your well‑being If you want to paint, clear the laundry off the easel. If you want to feel calmer, tidy the room that stresses you out. Preparing the soil is about clearing space—physically, mentally, emotionally—so growth has somewhere to take root. “Plant the seeds of gratitude to grow and enjoy the abundance of life.” — Debasish Mrindha Step Three: Plant the Seed Growth doesn’t happen overnight. Seeds don’t sprout because you yell “GROW!” at the dirt (trust me, I’ve tried). So, start small. Choose actions that are simple, repeatable, and gentle on your patience. Want to get organized? Start by cleaning a mirror, not remodeling the bathroom. Want to build confidence? Try one small brave act, not a life‑altering leap. Small seeds produce big harvests: one kernel becomes a stalk with multiple ears of corn; one small kindness grows into deep friendships. Tiny actions matter and they compound. That’s the magic. “Some weeds must be pulled by the roots, whether they grow in the soil or in the soul.” — S. Ellery Step Four: Pull the Weeds This is the hard part. Once your seed is planted, you have to protect it. Weeds show up in many forms: Old habits Negative self‑talk Unhealthy patterns Draining relationships Unrealistic expectations Pulling weeds requires daily attention. At first, you’ll be shooing away “crows” with a broom. Eventually, you’ll build sturdier boundaries—your metaphorical scarecrow. And don’t forget the basics: sunlight, rest, movement, hydration, and fresh air. Even metaphorical gardens need real water. Take a walk, stretch, breathe, step outside—even if you need allergy meds to survive the pollen apocalypse. Helen Keller captured this beautifully: the tasks we repeat daily can feel new and meaningful when approached with a spirit of renewal. “Relationships, like gardens, are shaped by what we water—kindness, attention, and time.” — S. Ellery Step Five: Nurture Your Growth Growth takes time. Be patient with yourself. Celebrate progress, no matter how small. As you grow, you’ll naturally take on bigger tasks—cleaning the toilet instead of just the mirror, organizing the closet instead of just the desk. Set goals, not deadlines. Goals give you direction without punishing you for moving at a human pace. Every bit of progress is proof that you’re tending your garden well. You can grow something beautiful in your life. You can create change. All it takes is intention, patience, and steady care. And there’s no better season to begin. Before You Go… A Question for You As you think about your own “garden,” what’s one small seed you’re ready to plant this season — in your work, your relationships, or your personal growth? Take a moment to name it. Even writing it down can be the first act of nurturing it. Let’s Grow Together If this reflection resonated with you, I’d love to stay connected. You can subscribe to my free newsletter for more insights, tools, and hints to consider as you seek the life and relationships you want to build — one intentional step at a time. And if you’re feeling ready to dig a little deeper into your own growth, consider scheduling a session. Whether you’re a professional navigating leadership challenges, an intern building confidence, or a client seeking clarity and support, this season is a beautiful time to begin. Your garden is waiting. Choose to cultivate it with purpose.

Taking the first step toward better mental health can feel overwhelming. But what if I told you that booking online therapy is simpler than you think? Whether you’re seeking personal growth, mental health support, or even exploring a career in therapy, this guide will walk you through the process with ease and clarity. Together, we’ll break down the steps so you can feel confident and empowered to take that important leap. Why Booking Online Therapy Easily Matters Have you ever hesitated to reach out for help because the process seemed complicated? You’re not alone. Many people avoid therapy simply because they don’t know where to start. Online therapy removes many barriers like travel time and costs, scheduling conflicts, increases confidentiality (you don't see other clients come and go into your counselor's offices, and others don't see you), and even the anxiety of walking into a new office. But even with these advantages, the idea of booking a session can still feel daunting. Booking online therapy easily means you can focus on what truly matters - your well-being. It’s about making the process smooth, accessible, and tailored to your needs. Imagine sitting comfortably at home, knowing that help is just a few clicks away. That’s the power of online therapy. Research information about mental health professionals, their credentials, and experience. Step 1: Identify Your Needs and Preferences Before you dive into booking, take a moment to reflect on what you want from therapy. Are you looking for support with anxiety, depression, or life transitions? Or maybe you want to explore personal growth or develop coping skills? Knowing your goals will help you find the right therapist. Also, consider your preferences: Type of therapy: Cognitive-behavioral, psychodynamic, mindfulness-based, etc. Therapist’s gender or background: Sometimes this can make a difference in comfort level. Session format: Video, phone, or chat. Scheduling: Do you need evening or weekend availability? Writing these down can clarify your search and save time. Step 2: Research and Choose a Platform or Therapist Before Booking Online Sessions Now that you know what you want, it’s time to explore your options. There are many online platforms and independent therapists offering virtual sessions. Here’s how to narrow it down: Check credentials: Look for licensed professionals with experience in your area of concern. Read reviews: Hearing from others can give insight into the therapist’s style and effectiveness. Compare costs: Choosing the least-expensive coaching or counseling isn't always choosing the best. A more skilled therapist or life coach may actually save you time and cost, but if costs are a deciding factor, it's important to consider that before seeking support. Look for specialties: If you have specific needs, such as trauma or relationship counseling, find someone who specializes in that. Don’t rush this step. Finding the right fit is crucial for a successful therapy experience. Step 3: Create an Account and Complete Intake Forms Once you’ve selected a platform or therapist, you’ll usually need to create an account. This is where you provide basic information and sometimes fill out intake forms. These forms help the therapist understand your background and current situation. Be honest and thorough. The more your therapist knows, the better they can support you. If you have questions about privacy or data security, don’t hesitate to ask. Reputable services prioritize confidentiality. Step 4: Schedule Your First Session Here comes the exciting part - scheduling your session! Most platforms offer a calendar view where you can pick a date and time that works for you. If you’re working with an independent therapist, you might coordinate via email or phone. Here are some tips to make scheduling easier: Choose a quiet, private space for your session. Consider your energy levels and pick a time when you feel most alert. Set a reminder on your phone or calendar. If you’re ready to take that step right now, you can book an online therapy session easily through trusted services. Schedule your first session. Step 5: Prepare for Your Session Preparation can help ease any nerves. Here’s what I recommend: Test your technology: Make sure your internet connection, camera, and microphone work. (You can call my offices at 210-970-1511 before your appointment if you have questions.) Find a comfortable, distraction-free spot. Have a notebook or journal handy to jot down thoughts or homework. Set an intention for the session. What do you hope to achieve? Remember, therapy is a collaborative process. Your therapist is there to guide and support you, but your openness and participation make all the difference. Step 6: Attend and Engage in Your Therapy Session When the day arrives, take a deep breath and log in a few minutes early. Starting on time helps you settle in and feel more relaxed. During the session, be as open and honest as you can. It’s okay to feel vulnerable - that’s part of healing. Honesty helps address issues more quickly. If something doesn’t feel right, speak up. Therapy is your space, and your comfort matters. Over time, you’ll build trust and find your rhythm. Step 7: Reflect and Plan Your Next Steps After your session, take a moment to reflect. How do you feel? What insights did you gain? Writing down your thoughts can deepen your understanding and track your progress. Decide when you want to schedule your next session. Consistency is key to growth and healing. Here's why: Consistent, Dedicated Therapy Increases Successful Outcomes Embracing the Journey of Personal Growth Booking online therapy easily is just the beginning of a transformative journey. It’s about taking control of your mental health and investing in yourself. Whether you’re seeking support or training to become a therapist, every step forward is a victory. If you ever feel stuck or unsure, remind yourself that help is accessible and compassionate. You’re not alone, and there are professionals ready to walk alongside you. So why wait? Take that first step today and book an online therapy session to start your path toward healing and growth. Your well-being is worth every effort you put into it. Best wishes on your journey of discovery, resilience, and empowerment!