
Why do we sometimes like to be scared?
Why do some of us even like to be terrified?
Does overcoming fear prove to ourselves, or others, that we are braver than we feel or than others think we are?
Do we seek thrills, or do crazy things, to convince others we are strong or fearless or even invincible?
What is the difference, and results on our mental and physical health, between "safe fears" and "risk-taking"?

On October 24,1901, Annie Edson Taylor, became the first person to successfully take the plunge over Niagara Falls in a barrel. Annie's husband had died several years earlier, and she was desperately strapped for cash. She'd read an article about Niagara Falls and decided she would try to gain fame AND fortune by going over the falls. She began her marketing campaign to draw attention to herself and the upcoming event, and even though she was a 63-year-old schoolteacher, she said she was in her 40's. Annie strapped herself into a custom-made 5'X3" wooden pickle barrel lined with cushions, had a towboat pull her to the middle of the falls and cut her loose! And whoever said teachers and older folks weren't gutsy? She survived, bruised and battered, but without the resulting long-term fame or fortune she sought. She did, however, inspire other copy-cat daredevils to illegally attempt the Niagara Falls leap; some survived, some didn't, and some suffered serious fines for their illegal actions. Annie pushed the limits, made a plan as she prepared for her terrifying jump, and survived. Did she do it out of desperation financially, to seek fame, or as a sort of death-wish due to grief associated with loss of her husband? Who knows Annie's reasons. We just know she took the risk. This type of risk is not what we'd call a "safe fear" risk, as she put her life on the line, and it could have ended very differently than her being a historical notation of the first person on the American side of Niagara Falls to make the leap. (Sam Patch, the Yankee Leaper, was successful leaping without anything on him, on the Canadian side of the falls, previously in October 1829). Apparently, October must be a good month for leapers? But even though it was a dangerous risk, Annie did try to think that risk out and plan ahead for it and probably why she survived.

Why do we gasp, but still watch, those daredevils who take our breath away and do amazing feats? Those Olympians who break the gravitational forces of nature and body, those daredevils like Evel and Robbie Knievel, Jackie Chan, or Harry Houdini. Why do we watch those videos of skateboarders who take amazing risks, yet often fail as we laugh at their falls, but admire their attempts to soar? Why do they captivate us?
I'd like to introduce the concept of "safe fear" and in later articles, discuss the increasing intensity of other types of fears; when they become physically or mentally unhealthy or lead to life-threatening dangers. How does risk-taking fit into our lives as both a positive and a negative?
Deep, unresolved fear is the foundation of anxiety, stress, agoraphobia, phobias, or anger which can be harmful or lead to failures in communication, whether that fear is real or not. Fear can also be a important catalyst to leave comfort zones and accomplish some pretty amazing things in life.
Merriam Webster dictionary write that being scared is: “thrown into or being in a state of fear, fright, or panic”; “an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger” anxious concern, or present danger.

But sometimes being scared is fun! Halloween is the perfect example. Halloween is what we consider to be a "safe fear". Many people look forward to dressing up in scary costumes, creating spooky outdoor scenes, painting their faces, seeking to be scared or to scare others.
There are different levels of fear and sometimes we even like to feel scared, as we may like the "rush" being afraid makes us feel.
"Safe fear" is the most basic fear because it is one that is easiest to control and not as threatening as other fears. But even that depends upon our age and experience. A young child may be terrified of the things they see at Halloween or in scary movies (which is why movies are rated for different audiences), while adolescents or adults may be thrilled at those same things, seek to be terrified at Halloween Haunted House tours, or to watch horror movies. We may pay to go to scary movies, even the really crummy ones, because we know there is going to be a scary clown, guy with a chainsaw, person in a garish costume, or an expected creature or chalky faced girl lurking in the background.
Safe Fear is instinctive and split-second reactive. It's like seeing a dog's reaction when another dog runs by him at a dog park as he realizes the other dog isn't a threat but is trying to engage him into playing chase. It's the fear we may feel at Halloween or as we watch a scary or suspenseful movie and logically understand it's "isn't real". It’s what we feel when a friend jumps out at us expectedly from the doorway. Or when we stuff plastic ping-pong balls in the kitchen cabinet so that when dad or mom sleepily open that cabinet door to get coffee to begin brewing their first cup of coffee, all those ping-pong balls suddenly tumble out (scaring them and thrilling us!).
Some people try to avoid fear at all costs; however, others will enthusiastically seek, or even pay to be scared. We pay to ride that roller coaster, screaming as the ride plunges downhill and laughing as it goes back up, with the knowledge more terrifying moments and screams are on the way. We may even challenge each other to ride a more daring ride to prove our fearlessness. If you watch people after they ride a roller coaster, they will either be energized and laughing loudly (or even jumping up and down, hitting each other playfully to release tension) …or look shaken or ill (what we call "green around the gills"). That’s an obvious indicator if a person loves being scared…or if a person will most likely decline the next scary ride.

The realization is that some people like being scared, while others don’t (or will only tolerate, or allow, certain levels of fear to be experienced). We can identify our fear levels, but also be sensitive to other's fear levels.
Recognize there are different levels of fear.
Safe fear (what this article is about)
General fear (which can include anxiety)
Phobias (deep-rooted fears)
Actual Danger (sudden or imminent)
Even though the short video below is about being scared at Halloween, it addresses the psychology and physical response our bodies react to when scared. It shows how our mind-body reactions to being scared bring about secondary, and often unusual, emotions. It also gives tips for parents to teach children the difference between different types of fears.
When we are scared, our body reacts immediately. Even safe fear has a physical response.
Our vision picks up more details with subconscious recognition. The images become more intense, as do the colors, monochrome shades of dark and light, shadows, fast- or slow-moving movements.

Our eyes quickly dart to unusual objects in our vision range or unusual facial expressions, especially those that are the most exaggerated (or different).
We listen to the music in scary movies and mentally connect music to the movie itself. When you hear the theme music of the movie “Jaws”, what vision pops into your head? Or when you hear the climatic music of the movie, “The Birds”, don’t you begin to look at our friendly backyard feathered friends with just a hint of distrust or suspicion? Alfred Hitchcock was a master of the use of music crescendo, in conjunction with images, to produce the reaction of fear. We can attribute many sleepless nights to Hitchcock’s talented imagery, shadowed images, expert ‘foreshadowing’ and music in his movies. Scary music is designed specifically to draw out our emotions and horror movies use that device to build tension during the show.
Our hearts race and we can feel the adrenalin rush!

Our bodies set up the 'fight or flight' response. Will we determine, in a millisecond, if the fear is safe or risky? Will we fight the threat or is it wise to run to safety? This happens when our body suddenly dumps a natural stress hormone, Cortisol (also called an adrenalin rush), into our body. This chemical hormone is our body’s natural, instinctive, alarm or warning system. Our logical response (mind) kicks in immediately and we quickly determine whether we should: -1. ‘Fight!’ (There is real danger, and we should attack it head-on) or -2. ‘Flight!’ (We need to flee or run away from the real danger), or -3. ’Relax’ (We don’t need to be afraid. This is ‘Safe Fear’).

We usually laugh after we realize we’ve experienced safe fear, or that there was no actual danger present. That automatic release of laughter helps us release tensions.
We sometimes dream about scary things that are not real, and those dreams also serve as a release of tensions and fears. (If nightmares or dreams have real basis to them, such as in cases of abuse or trauma, that’s a different matter altogether and may indicate symptoms of PTSD. If experiencing PTSD or reliving actual traumatic events, those should be immediately addressed with adults, such as police, child protective services, parents, teachers, or professional counselors). But nightmares can sometimes also be a release of "safe fears", and are our body’s way of releasing those fears, which usually are nothing related to the dream.

All triggers to fear are learned. Babies are born with two basic fears: the fear of loud noises and the fear of being dropped. Other fears are developed in life through parental warnings, personal experiences and observations, or teachings of others.
Knowledge casts out fear. People who are trained to deal with crisis or unexpected situations (such as firemen, EMTs, police, doctors) have a very different response to events from those who are not prepared for the same events. This is why it is valuable for all of us to learn to do CPR, the “Heimlich Maneuver”, and other emergency responses (such as Water Rescue methods). Being trained in these emergency responses also creates confidence. There are many online courses, as well as courses taught by your local community centers, courses sometimes are offered at schools or churches. Parents can even teach this information to their children to build their confidence and knowledge base.
Do what is smart and effective! If a blazing mountain fire is headed toward your home, do the smart thing. You don’t need to be afraid but do what is effective…get out of the house and to safety. You don’t have to be afraid in order to wear a seatbelt, just be smart! Wear the seatbelt to be safe.
Panic doesn’t save a life, but awareness and action might.
It’s smart to be informed and prepared. Take time to create safety plans for yourself and your family so that everyone knows the steps to take in an emergency, keep a notebook or list of emergency phone numbers and contacts. Knowing what to do, or how to handle a situation, creates confidence and decreases fear. And if you have children, it’s a way to educate them, as well as give them confidence that they can handle unusual situation.
Role-play situations with your children. (The military does this when it trains its soldiers, when you take CPR classes or other training, when you teach your child how to answer the phone correctly without giving strangers personal information). We repeat the steps, have tools or materials to help us prepare, but it’s in the ‘role playing’ that we have confidence if the situation ever occurs and the knowledge that we & our children will effectively handle it.
When parents teach their children to be prepared (i.e. ‘don’t be afraid of that mummy, it’s just someone dressed up in a costume’), they teach their children how to address fear more effectively.
When to know if it’s wise to consider professional help: “Fear is an emotion, not a fact. Many of us deal with fears in daily life and deal with them quite effectively. Those types of fears are part of life and don’t impact life to a large extent. I provide counseling and coaching for those who feel their lives are consumed by fear, recognize fears or a phobia (such as flying, public speaking, etc.) affects their or their family’s life in an unhealthy way, and who seek a practical solution to address those powerful emotions.” - Clifton Fuller
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