Resolutions are Goal Setting that Work!

Happy New Year!

Think it through! Take tiny steps, consistently and daily for greater success in reaching your goals!

We all know the drill by now…a New Year, new resolutions. Wouldn’t it be great to celebrate every day like we do New Year’s...a "start-over" of the year, focusing on changing habits to try to make life better. It's all about “New Year, New Day, New Changes”

We make changes every day, why not just admit they are mini-resolutions or mini-goals to live a better life? Why not decide to make them stick this time?

It may be much easier than you think.

If you’re older, you may still feel the pressure to make a big, sweeping change in your life, to finally fix the ONE THING that’s been holding you back from success, or money, or love. We’ve all done this before: set goals for ourselves and bail on them in a month or two for a multitude of reasons. Too hard. Too painful. Too tiring. Too much rejection or resistance. Too much effort?

Life is our open book and only we can fill its pages. We do that daily.

A New Year IS an opportunity! The New Year is as good a time as any to make a change in life. Even if you didn't begin on the new year, don’t wait for an event to start changing, START NOW...START TODAY.

Some people don’t make an effort to make resolutions, and of the vast majority who do, around 90% drop them early. Why? The hard truth is that we, as humans, attach importance to patterns. We make traditions, form little rituals, even when they seem innocuous.

We like to get coffee the same way, around the same time, from the same little cafe, every morning. We may even feel strangely off-kilter when we don’t.

You can't undo the past, but you can learn from it. A swimmer only becomes stronger by meeting water's resistance. A bodybuilder becomes stronger by lifting weights.

Those ideas or habits that we consider to be "normal" are called "homeostasis", that we will reset to. Patterns of behavior matter to us. Humans are creatures of habit, and change is difficult. Before we get too down on ourselves, however, let’s set some ground rules.

Some people tell themselves the lie that "resolutions never work anyway. Why go to the trouble of making them?" You’re different and wiser now than you were before because you know the routine, can count all the times you made resolutions and didn't keep them, and maybe even identify the reasons you didn't keep those former resolutions.

This time don't brush off those former resolution missteps as an excuse to avoid making resolutions (or goals).

Instead, consider those '"former resolution failures" as valuable learning experiences that instead form the basis for life lessons. That training, even if unpleasant, prepared you for this year and your life in some way. Turn former failures into the mindset that they instead offer an opportunity to be stronger, change, educate yourself, and learn from those experiences.

"A clear vision, backed by definite plans, gives you a tremendous feeling of confidence and personal power." ~Brian Tracy

If you look at any successful professional, any successful marriage or relationship, any successful business, you will see each sets reachable goals and makes focused plans to be successful. Their goal acquisitions include step-by-step plans and outlines, usually written, which reinforces the goals in our minds. Resolutions are simply goals. Goal setting includes changes and improvement. Resolutions do, as well.

The thing you can and have the power to change is the WAY you think about change.

Keep in mind that the "circumstances" of our lives may not change much. There will always be stress, responsibilities, decisions that need to be made in an instant, and those decisions and situations may come when you feel the least capable of handling them. These moments of stress will spook us into reverting to previous habits, the things that gave us comfort, the patterns of behavior that we’ve set as our standard responses to them, even if those habits were ineffective previously. Don't fall prey to those impulses. Stay focused! Recognize that your determination is a true strength.

Resolutions are simply utilizing goal-setting skills that have proven successful to many individuals, businesses, and professionals.

It's important to focus on changing OUR patterns of behavior, instead of trying to change others or the world. Change yourself; tap into your inner control and move forward.

Depending on your kind of resolution, that will sound easy to accept, if you’re making a change like “I want to lose weight,” or “I want to get fit,” you can do it easier than if you aim higher and attempt to make changes that also involve other's changing. “I want to make a difference in a system of economic exploitation that has endured for longer than I have been alive” may be more of a challenge and more difficult to reach. It can be done but recognize it will be a comprehensive plan that will require extended time and effort.

Your present circumstance does not determine where you can go, they only determine your starting point.

The world has a sense of homeostasis, too, and it is going to enforce those old rules with great resistance. A large organization, business, family group, or the world may be resistant to change, even when in their best interests to do so. If you want change in the new year, you are the one you should focus on to make needed changes. And a positive side impact of this is: when someone changes, even if initially met with resistance, over time, those around the one who changes will likely begin to change, even if slowly or even if only slightly. Don't bank on others changing. Focus your efforts on YOU...that's the source of your strength and success.

Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together." ~Vincent Van Gogh

Set resolutions for the right reasons, be smart about how to go about it, and wrap your mind around what is needed to pull it off. Start small. Look at concepts and ideas and options before hiring that personal trainer, scheduling liposuction, or deciding to move to a new state to start over. Wisdom beats impulsivity.

“Before you make a decision, ask yourself this question: will you regret the results or rejoice in them?” ― Rob Liano

No matter what your desired change is, the first thing that you need to ask yourself is, “What do I want, and why?” If you want to drop some pounds, why? For your health? To be more attractive? To compete in a marathon?

Take steps to reach your goal, no matter how small they may seem at the time. Those steps become habits in your life and are the foundation for who you become.

All of these reasons are valid, but they have different requirements for the second question; “What skills, money, effort, and commitment will it take?” You won’t be running 26 miles if you don’t know how to run without hurting yourself. You’ll need to teach your body how to endure the strain, and that will take time, consistency, and discipline.

If your change is “I want to get a raise at work,” you’ll battle against things like market forces, competitive coworkers, and that one boss you really dislike. You may not have the resources that you need to win that battle, but you can change the rules of engagement. You can instead determine that you want to be more assertive, better at your job, the kind of person that demands to be paid what you are worth. That change may require things like confidence, better time management, improved work skills (whether it’s making latte art or compiling expense reports, doesn’t matter), and the mental strength to acquire or build those skills. If you don’t have those assets to spare, if you haven’t developed them yet, that does NOT mean that you’ve failed. It means you need to change your sense of homeostasis to accommodate them. Seek the help you need to acquire the skills, as it will pay off for you in the future. Find free resources in your community, from business groups, your chambers of commerce, educational community groups, or online training or information that will be of value.

Stop thinking in terms of “I Want” and start thinking in terms of “I Am Going To.” 

The least that we can do, if we’re changing ourselves, is to be assertive. We’re in control of this change, after all, so let’s use that by setting goals and setting them realistically. Assertiveness is not aggression; it is determination, having a goal in mind (& written down), and recognizing the steps or paths to reach that goal. If you are unsure, engaging the help of a counselor or life coach may save you time, money and effort in "making a focused plan" to reach your specific goals.

If a goal that pops in mind, using the same examples, is along the lines of, “I am going to lose 50 pounds,” slow down. That’s a very difficult goal to reach because it’s too far in the future, it’s too much of an “End State.” If you lose 40 pounds, you’re still lagging behind. Instead, set a goal that you can do NOW. Goals like, “I am going to take a walk” or “I’m going to eat more vegetables and less butter,” you can do that during lunch. Do it every day, and it becomes a ritual. It becomes a pattern of behavior. It becomes the new normal, a new homeostasis. If your goal is to lose 50 pounds this year, break it down into a daily "mini-steps" plan to reach that goal, such as limiting daily calories, exercising daily, regular sleep schedule, discontinued alcohol consumption, etc.

We’re not looking for goals that we can reach, we’re looking for goals that we can DO.

To reach goals, time to renew and refresh. It will strengthen and energize you.

If we’re going to DO, then we’re going to DO IT AS HARD AS WE CAN, right? The folks that get fit are the ones that hit the gym on day one and keep hitting it 7 days a week, right? NO! Take it slower initially, "self-correct" if needed, and be willing to adjust a bit if you hit snags. Pace yourself. Exert yourself; don't hurt yourself.

Your mind needs time to adjust to the new normal, and we’re going to keep encouraging it to reach our realistic goals. We want to give ourselves rewards along the way, instead of at the end, and affirmation is the first reward. Give yourself a pat on the back when you do a goal or do it a little longer than you did yesterday.

Having a strong support network will dramatically increase your chances of reaching your goals.

We all benefit from a cheering support network; whether one person or a group of people...people that we trust to keep us encouraged and tell us we can do it! Tell friends about your new normal, encourage them in kind, share your progress. Make it a fun game, stay positive and keep hitting those steps toward your goals, making that your new normal. Seek coaching or counseling support, if needed, to keep on track.

Keep track of your progress, start a diary, spreadsheet, a journal (several are available at FullerPublishing.com). Update it so you can look back and brag later. Journals can also become personal future guides for yourself...or even others...as they seek goals.

Writing and documenting your progress is an excellent way to measure that progress in ways that are useful and reinforcing as your changes become habits. As you accumulate repeated, small steps, they begin to build upon each other (like the concept of accrual interest in a bank account. Ever little bit adds up!)

Sleep helps your heart, your mood, regulates blood sugar, help your body heal, restores your immune system, improves mental health, helps maintain weight, and releases stress through REM sleep times.

And if that progress starts to backslide, don’t freak out. Since we’re taking the tiny steps, we can take them again! 

One universal goal that we should all set, no matter what the resolution might be is to take times to take care of yourself by exercising (or simply moving more frequently), good nutrition, and sleep. All counselors and medical professionals recognize how important sleep is, and it’s also important here as you begin your new start in the new year. Schedule time to rest, making that an important habit which will have many physical and mental rewards as you’ll be double dipping the dopamine system.

Another simple step to help us reach our goals is to make sure to move our bodies frequently throughout the day. It causes the body to send blood to our brains and extremities. It energizes us and helps us think more quickly and clearly.

Even steps around the office or home, a quick walk around the block, a quick dance around the room, doing basic household chores, or moving and flexing at your desk can make a difference. If you have a fit-bit or watch to track steps, see how many you usually take in your normal day. Start by adding just 50 steps to that amount each day for a week; then add 50 more each week (or as your strength grows, add more). Decide how many steps you want to reach daily (which can easily increase gradually over time), as a health resolution to help you reach other goals!

Ready? On Your Mark… Get Set… Start making those changes you want! You can do it!